Negotiating a Financial Settlement

Well I''ve finally taken the big step & told my husband I wanted a divorce.
He has been served with the Petition and now we have the fun part of trying to negotiate the financial settlement!!

We are amicable at the moment & would both very much like to try and sort this ourselves without incurring unnecessary costs.

I fear this may be difficult to manage as my husband has a business which he has built up over the last 20 years, with my help initially and quite a complicated portfolio of properties which was built up in lieu of a pension. I have no income, I was at home raising the children & helping out with the business as required.

My husband has offered to transfer the MH into my name, he has had his own flat for 12 years as the business is in another town, to pay Spousal Maintenance and then divide the properties 50/50 between him & our 2 grown sons. Whilst I want to make sure that our sons inheritance is secure this doesn''t sound like a very secure future for me!

My solicitor has strongly advised against the Spousal Maintenance and suggested a Clean Break with a 50/50 division of assets. I want to be free and don''t want to be greedy but I have come round to the understanding that I am entitled to a decent proportion.

As the properties were bought to use as our pension it seems short sighted to expect my husband to sell them in order to make a payment to me but I have no idea how we could achieve the division of assets otherwise. They pay a good rental income.

Do any of you have any words of wisdom for me to go into our next meeting where I need to try and stand my ground and come up with an equitable solution?

Any advice will be much appreciated

Thanks Jan

The main thing that comes to my mind is if the properties were bought for your pensions why is he proposing to give them away to your sons?He can''t really think that is ok.If you split them between you they could be used as were originally intended and your sons would inherit in the future.
What would happen to His proposal for SM if he dies before you?

Thanks for your reply, just had a chat with my eldest son who is working in the business with my husband.. he explained that as the properties are worth more as rental income it seems foolish to try & sell at this time. The SM would come jointly from my husband & the boys! I''ve yet to run this past my solicitor but I think I know what her answer will be!!
I feel like I''m being very unreasonable asking for a clean break.. economically the SM would be the best deal for all of us but I''m worried about my security! There are just oo many variables.. feeling very isolated at the moment as I have no-one to speak to other than solicitor & she''s too expensive just for a chat!!!

All sounds very complicated !
What he is doing is basically giving your assets to your sons, who knows years down the line you may want to leave everything to a dogs home.

I would tend to agree with your solicitor that really you should be trying to get a clean break, how that is achieved is another matter.

LB

If there are a number of properties why do they have to be sold or given to your sons.Is there any good reason why you can''t have some to rent out and have an income from the rentals and he does the same?
I may be completely wrong but I get the feeling that the men in your life think they know what is best for you and you aren''t capable of handling your own affairs.
In my opinion getting maintenance from your sons is farcical.What if they marry and get divorced or if they decide they are short of money for their wants and needs how would you be protected then?

Thanks everyone for your replies

Despite being the one initiating the divorce I''m not a very forceful person & I''m used to being told what''s best for me

I guess it''s time I start to toughen up and think for myself... I need to become more assertive!

Going through what papers I have re valuations/rentals trying to put together my plan for a clean break

Hi janr

I''m a very simple soul so I would ask:
Can you and your ex split properties 50/50? Taking into account what would be a 50/50 split of FMH and the flat? So renatl properties might be 40% to you or whatever is seen as the market value on all (rentals, FMH and flat). And you still have FMH, he has flat but the rest of the 50/50 share is from the rentals?

Then you could still employ sons(s) to look after your share - so no change to their current role / responsibilities.

You could then provide for them on your death via your will.

That way your share is yours to do with as you wish and provide for your furture with you sons inheriting on your death as they would have previously.

Carly