Since I left my husband after 40 years marriage I have never been happier in all my life as I am now, I am 56 years old. We have been separated for 9 months. When I suggested a divorce he said he would contest it & wouldn''t make it easy for me (due to me leaving him - ego etc)
The marital home is worth 180k mortgage free (we held joint savings of 58k when I left of which he has given me 23k) We have both been employed all our married life. We both had our own car and both had our own ISA’s of equal value. I used the 23k and my ISA’s savings to provide a new home for myself. I have now met a new partner and my main priority is to move on with my new life. Both me and my new partner live together and are both employed – My husband is self employed, works abroad but hasn’t worked for 14 months. My husband has a small pension & I have none. We have 2 grown up children who have their own families now. When I left my husband he allegedly saw his doctor for depression.
I recently made him a proposal for a divorce settlement. Since I have had nearly 50% of our savings from him the main asset left is the marital home which I guess is about 180k. I suggested he gives me 40k in exchange for a straight forward easy divorce with a Clean Break order.
The reason I have made my proposal is so I can hopefully file for an easy straight forward divorce which could in theory amount to thounsands of pounds if he contests it. Also taking into account he is not employed at present, his GP visit for depression and the fact that I am in new accomodation with my new partner - I feel the shortfall I would be losing outweighs my gain of being free and able to remarry should I wish to. My theory is that I would have a 40k settlement after a divorce to save for my future retirement whereas the marital home could take years to sell.
I believe he is considering my proposal and would like anyone''s opinion as I realise this is a big step in my life. Does anyone think this is a foolish move on my part or do other couples make such big compromises?
Welcome to wiki but sorry you find yourself here.
The usual starting point for a long marriage is a 50:50 split, but that is a starting point. The settlement you have proposed does seem a little tilted in his favour although given his current ill-health that may be reasonable, but close to 75:25 seems a bit steep.
I assume that the FMH is reasonably large, so how much would a 1 or 2 bed house/flat cost in your area ?
Contesting a divorce is no a good move, it just costs a fortune and you still end up divorced.
marital home was new build 4 bed house - I had to move 300 miles away due to ex having aggressive behaviour I could not stay in same area, hence to buy a 1 or 2 bed home in my area now would be approx 120k which I couldn''t afford.
I wasn''t thinking of it as a 75/25 split - i was thinking in terms of it being just less than half of my 50/50 share if this was granted. Due to circumstances I don''t feel confident i would be awarded a 50/50 split
Thanks for your feedback, it is very much appreciated
I think you should see a solicitor for advice on Settlement.Don''t be too quick to make decisions which will have an impact on the rest of your life.You have to think of your future, which may or may not see you living alone,you may then have a very limited income.
Thanks for your personal opinion - I am going to see a solicitor next week. I wanted some advice from people who have been in my situation. I fear a solicitor could try to persuade me to challenge my husband whereas I fear if I did that and walked away with a larger portion of the assets he will want revenge as he is a very vindictive and aggressive man. I just feel fighting for any additional money is not worth living in fear afterwards - if I accepted 40k and walked away my life would be more relaxed