Affordability may be the issue here. You need to bear in mind that two salaries that were funding one household are now funding two.
If that means the cost of private school is unaffordable then that is it. However if you both agree that private school is what you want, then you should share costs even if it means some sacrifices. If it is only what you want - and he no longer agrees and cannot afford it, then either you will have to pay or you will need to take the state school route.
There is nothing wrong with state schools. I have a niece the same age as my youngest daughter. She went to a very expensive private school from 4. My daughter went to our nearest state school. My daughter actually did better in her SATs than her cousin ....
Of course without knowing more details of the finances, it is impossible to say whether he is just saying he cannot pay - or whether he genuinely cannot.
You mention a further 14 years of school - from which I infer that your child is only about 4. He has not got used to being at school yet, he is about to move to a new area, is it really not OK for him to just go to a state school? Have you looked at the schools in the area you are moving to?
As far as this year''s fees go, you may just have to pay them yourself. You could ask a court to order him to pay - but unless the fees are astronomical, the chances are it would cost more in legal fees than the school wants. I think you are very unlikely (depending on the incomes and outgoings involved) to get a court to order he pays school fees. Even if there was a court order for more than 15%, he could still apply to the CSA after a year and go back to 15%.
The only other way would be for it to be bound up in a global order with some spousal maintenance - but if your earnings are pretty similar and he is paying CM, then I don''t think that is a likely scenario.
Even if you file court papers for financial settlement, that does not mean you stop negotiating. You can, and should, keep talking in the hope of reaching a settlement by consent rather than dragging all the way through the courts (at huge expense) to get a judge to decide.
If you do this then he is compelled by the court (as are you) to film in a form E giving complete financial disclosure. That way you can each see what the other has and it makes it easier to negotiate. If he does not disclose fully, you can raise questions, the court can order him to answer and if he does not play ball, he could ultimately end up in prison.
Many people have wasted a lot of time and money trying to settle with a stbx who does not want to. In a case like that I am afraid applying to the courts is the best option. They are then answerable to the court and not to you.
Thank you! Can you pls tell me, is the child arrangement we both signed and sent to court the same as a financial settlement? I don''t think so but this is what my ex-partner is saying. He says that I''m talking about a Consent Order and he won''t sign it any time soon and in any case it can only be done after a degree Absolute.
Is he right? And if we signed a child arrangement where he says he will pay half the school fees, does it mean the court will add this to the Consent Order? Or we do need to get a financial settlement now and he is giving me false information?..
You need a legally binding Consent Order or a court order. With the consent order you agree a settlement that is signed off by a judge. A court order is imposed by a judge after hearing the evidence re finances, needs etc.
You can have a legally binding order of either sort once you have a Decree Nisi. The order is activated on Decree Absolute.