unreasonable offer made to me

Hi, im repping myself and so far have found some great information on here thats helped me a lot. I have been separated from stbx for 3 years and have just had my first hearing in court. He has made me an offer to settle before next hearing. I''ll try to make it brief. I have 2 children that dont want anything to do with my stbx. Offer : He says i get to keep the house, take on the mortgage (joint), take on a secured loan (joint), take on the overdraft (joint), Pay him £3000 towards credit cards in his name, he keeps his pension and i keep mine, the difference between these is £13000, his being greater than mine. So basically he will be left with part of a credit card debt and no other debt. He lives with his girlfriend in a 5 bedroom house with a company vehicle and a higher wage than me. I will be left with a 3 bedroom house, 2 children and debts totalling £18,000 before the mortgage is added on. The FMH was the house i was born in and it means everything to me. I really need someone to advise me what to do, how do i say no go to hell, all i want is the house for me and my children and him to agree to pay the secured loan and credit card debts, these were all taken out by him over the years. He has also said that i get to keep the house for 2 years paying the mortgage etc and then after 2 years it gets sold. I dont understand this! i keep being told that he cant force me to sell until the children are 18, is this correct, will i be able to stay in the house until the children turn 18, how do i find this out? If this has made sense to you and you have anything that can help me save my home and not be left with all the debt i would so appreciate it. Many thanks Sarah

Hi Sarah,

There is something called a Mesher Order - this means the house is sold when the youngest reaches 18 - this is to free up equity to pay the other party their %.

With the offer, we can''t say if its a good offer without figures/more info .........

Please can you post:

Your respective ages;

The number of children you have and their ages;

How many nights the children spend with each parent;

The length of your marriage and any period of pre marriage cohabitation;

Your respective incomes;

Your respective outgoings;

Your assets - both soley held and joint;

Your liabilities.

WR

thank you, yes here is more details for you, 1. im 42 and my stbx is 44.
2. Two children aged 14 and 10. They havent seen their dad in nearly 3 years because they dont want to, court has issued a residence order with me and no contact order for husband, its up to the children if they want to see him. So no nights spent at husbands.
3. Married for 22 years lived together for 3 years before that.
4. His income £21400 annum before tax, me £16800 annum before tax.
5. Assets jointly owed house valued at £140,000 mortgage outstanding £120,000. ( husband paid non since separating I have paid £16500 never missed a payment). Secured joint loan £13200 (husband refusing to communicate with lender, i have set up a payment plan of £50 month). joint overdraft £2400 still outstanding(i have already paid £1100 off-husband paid none)Debts i have since separating due to solicitor fees for myself and divorced partner £12000. husband still using credit cards he took out when we were together the debt is £13100 before separation.

He has borrowed money from his parents to pay his solicitor fees and still goes on holiday and eats out all the time.

There is no equity in the property so he wont benefit from a sale, he already lives in a 5 bedroom house. He is just a spiteful little man who doesnt care if his children are made homeless. The house means so much to me as its my birth home and belonged to my mum who passed away a few years ago.

I just need someones oppinion as to what he is doing to me is wrong!

Thanks you

Sarah

One of the Wiki experts will be along soon. But my thoughts are:
Make sure that any joint accounts or joint credit cards are frozen, thus ensuring he doesn''t run up more debt.
Is your ex looking to be removed from your joint mortgage? I very much doubt that will be possible given your salary.
Make sure that you are claiming all that you can - child tax credit, working tax credit etc...
Good luck x

Are you currently getting child maintenance? and/or Tax credits?

Overall there is really no money to share however you and the children need a 3 bed home. He is trying to trade off the small amount of equity in the house against the debt. This doesn''t seem right to me?

Can any other wikis help??

Hi poppy

Thanks, yes the joint account is frozen but the credit cards are in his name so they wont talk to me if i ring them, thats out of my hands.

I have already been told by my mortgage lender that i could take on the mortgage myself because i havent missed any payments since he left me. Trouble is they wont release him until the secured loan is sorted out.

Maisymoo : yes I already claim for tax credit and child tax credit, which helps pay for things.

He is paying child maintenance of £200 per month.

I have heard about the mesher agreement only recently, need to look into it a bit more.

Thank you so much everyone who is replying to me, it really makes you feel like your not alone in these times of stress and worry.

Big hugs to you all

Sarah xx

Sarah,

Nothing surprises us here I am afraid ..

Whose 5 bedroomed house is he living in? Does he own any part of it?

It seem to me that the simple approach here would be that you keep the house .. and see if , with tax credits etc, you are able to get the mortgage put into your sole name. (Incidentally I am assuming there has been some remortgaging going on if this was your inheritance and the equity is now so low?).. If you cannot get the mortgage in your sole name, you can indemnify him in a Consent Order. This will be a much cheaper option than renting.

I would suggest that he keeps the credit card debt (up to separation)and pays the remainder of the joint overdraft (you need to freeze/shut this account) and you perhaps keep the joint secured loan (they seem to be approx the same).. and keep to your payment deal if you cannot arrange anything better.

Is he paying CM for the children? You mention a partner. Are you living together? His legal fees are not a consideration here .. but yours may be.

This is really not worth fighting over all the way through the courts .. you already have less then nothing between you. Did the judge at FA make any comment on this?

My inclination would be to suggest an OPEN offer to settle asap .. along the lines suggested above.

Hadenoughnow