Moving in a new partner

Hi,

I''m very happy to say that my partner and I have reached a point in our relationship where we are discussing moving in together.

This would entail her and her son moving in with me - into my FMH (in which I have remained since my wife walked out in 2009).

In doing so, are there any considerations/scenario''s (financial or legal or otherwise) that we should be aware of?

I''ve included some background info'' below if it''s of any help

Thank you,


Mike

Background:

- I have been divorced (DA) since Jan 2011

- My three children stay with me every other weekend and also during school holidays (summer/half-term etc)

- I have purchased a final/Consent Order (via this forum) but my ex has yet to provide her details and hence this has not yet been submitted.

My friend, I think you need to be very very careful here. I have no wish at all to spoil your happiness, but - - - -
You do not have a consent order. My advice , put bluntly, is not to consider moving your new partner in until you do have one. And I''m sorry, but I have one or two important questions for you.
Is your ex wife aware of your new relationship ? Has it occurred to you that she is aware of it and this may be the reason for the delay in agreeing the consent order ?
Did you disclose this relationship on your form E ? Were the financial arrangements in the proposed consent order agreed in the knowledge that you had a new partner ?
You do not give me very much in the way of facts, but what you say sends alarm bells ringing merrily.
I am sorry to be more than a little blunt, not my usual style, but there it is. It may be perfectly all right and my fears could be groundless ; but, as a general statement of principle, and leaving aside the facts in your particular case, if a spouse agrees a financial settlement and does not disclose the fact that (s)he is in a new relationship, those circumstances could be grounds to have the order set aside.
LMM

Hi LMM,

Yes, my ex-wife is aware of my relationship. Tho'' she is not aware (nor privy) to any discussions that myself and my partner have. I also make sure that we never discuss items of this - or related matter - whilst my kids are with us.

Additionally my ex has been in a relationship for some time now (over a year I believe) and recently she moved house (with him and my kids) to a location (1hr from me) in order to be closer to his business premises.

When I initially completed my Form E I was not in any relationship - and if the consent order were to be submitted tomorrow then yes I may have to re-visit some information.

Are there any leaflets/packs that I can read to address any concerns I might have i.e. if I did move in my partner (and her son) - what affect - if any - this might have on the FMH?

Many thanks,


Mike
PS: I can try and provide as many facts as you might need - and have posted my details in the normal place on here

You need to get a consent order finalised between yourself and your ex to divide the marital assets.
Otherwise if you don''t it could turn around and bite you royally on the rse!!
If she splits up with her current partner for instance she''s gonna be looking back to your wallet for provision!!
Mate if he dumps her and your kids and she''s homeless with them she''ll be saying I want to move back into my house quicker than you can say Jack Robinson for instance.
For the sake of your new partner and yourself get your financial affairs settled legally so that''s done and dusted.
As for moving your new partner in the prudent side of me says I''d get the consent order signed off first.I''d be getting a wriggle on on that one.
All the best
Pete x

Mike,

If the information you gave on your Form E was correct at the time and later overtaken by events and became inaccurate before the final Court order - then there is a risk that the Court could set it aside - for confirmation see www.marilynstowe.co.uk/?s=Bokor-Ingram&x=0&y=0.

As a matter of interest though - was she is a relationship at the time and did she disclose that ?

In the light of that case I have to say that if you are in a relationship which you did not disclose ( albeit that the information was correct at the time it was given ) you should disclose it now. Equally, she must disclose her own new relationship.

But in any event, if you disclose the relationship, there is still the issue of what to do with the family home. For a start, I do not know if it would be realistic for your NP and you to buy a house on your own account ( or to buy your wife out ) Similar comments re your ex. Your post refers to your wife''s BF having a business which may perhaps mean he is not short of money - or am I assuming too much ?

I personally don''t think there is any shame in disclosing that your circumstances have changed ; the Court will probably like you for it, because believe me, not everyone is that honest. And the statement was correct when you made it.

But I suppose common sense would suggest that if you are considering cohabiting, and your ex is cohabiting already, then this is the time to do it, because the fact that both of you would be cohabiting would have the result that the two things will probably cancel each other out. I agree with Haway, it''s always possible her new relationship will founder and if this happens your position would become very insecure, although I know haway would have put it rather differently !

Actually, there is no obligation to disclose that you are in a relationhip at all. The question on Form E simply asks if you are co-habiting or intend to in the next 6 months.So there is no need to inform the judge.

However the advice above that it is best to wait until you have a signed order is correct.

Thanks Haway'', LMM and Ekaterine.

Some replies to your messages:

- When the consent order was initially purchased my ex might have been in her relationship but I[m pretty certain she wasn''t co-habiting with him.

- Yes, my ex''s partner does have his own business - which I can only presume is profitable as he has an ex-wife and two teenage sons to support. I also know that my ex is actually working for him (not sure how many hours per week - or what it is exactly she does - but she told me this last week).

Incidentally, my ex has also told me that her partner has (or is in the process of drawing up) an agreement with his ex stating that their FMH will not be sold until his youngest son reaches 18/finishes education. Could my ex and I also stipulate a similar statement in our consent order?

In summary, I don''t disagree with any of your replies, however until my ex has completed her required documents for the consent order I don''t see how I can move things forward.

Thank you,


Mike