So, my 2nd ever post is ultimately information and a question: I want to divorce my wife as she has been unfaithful. We have been married 16 years and have 2 kids. However, she is desperate the kids remain in the FMH until they are at least 18 and that they are not separated from me, their father, until after their 18th birthdays. She is offering to move out on an overnight basis, moving in with boyfriend eventually, so long as everything else remains the same, i.e. I pay mortgage, bills etc and she is allowed to use the house during the day to send the kids off to school and get their meals etc etc etc. She basically wants an evening and overnight life away from me and the kids but doesn''t want to completely dismantle the family structure for kids. Also, she firmly believes that when the kids are 18 everything should be split 50/50, proceeds from house sale and my pension being the two biggest assets, and said if I get it typed up by my lawyer she''d sign it. I guess my question has a few parts. 1, if we agree to something like this is there any chance the court would throw it out? 2, to me this seems financially as good as I could hope for, I should agree to this on a purely financial basis, right? 3, is it even possible legally for us to divorce, the kids to remain in the fmh with me, their father, but for my potentially divorced wife to retain a 50% interest in the house until such time as it is sold? 4, has anyone come across anything like this before or am I unique in this situation?
Well, at least both of you are going about it in a reasonably sensible manner.
I will try to answer the questions as best I can but must make one important qualification. There has to be a full disclosure of finances on both sides. Without that information, advice is impossible.
1. Would the Court throw it out ? I cannot second guess a judge but on the face of it, what you are proposing seems within the general parameters of reasonableness.
2. 50% split of your pension seems a little on the high side though she will have some claim. Do you know, for example, whether she has a pension of her own ? What do you know about her boyfriend ? On the other hand, most wives come away with more than 50% of the equity where children are involved so perhaps it''s swings and roundabouts.
3. Such an agreement is definitely possible, at least in principle.
4. It''s a little unusual but it''s refreshing to see such a concern for the children, not something we always come across on this forum. However, cohabitations can break down - statistically, a high proportion do - so you need to have a Plan B to cover that eventuality.
This is general guidance only and legal advice, plus a visit to a family lawyer, I would consider essential.