Any assistance re financial settlement would be much appreciated, my Decree Nisi went through in March this year. Will try and keep brief. We have disclosed financials and the basic position is as follows:
Cash & bonds etc: circa £20,000
Has kept both cars and everything, not that it is worth much
Has small pension due
Salary net £1,900
Cash etc: less than £2,500
Salary net £2,300
We have a daughter who is 21 and just finished university.
Just received a letter from her lawyers claiming:
A lump sum of £20,000 from me on the basis she thought I was saving for our retirement.
Whilst married I gave £1,300 per month towards rent and household costs. She claims that she is basing her expectations on the fact I should ave been saving the £1,000 I got a month.
I would have thought she should be giving me money? Can anyone give me advice please? I feel going to lawyers on my part is pointless as I have nothing, she has it all.
Initial reaction is that her claim is very optimistic and my first thoughts were that this is a case for a Clean Break. Courts will not make a lump sum order if you can''t afford to pay it, and I don''t think you can. The difference in your salaries does not seem to me to justify spousal maintenance.
Practically, you both have to have somewhere to live. You say you rent. I guess she will have to rent as well. It''s always possible to get housing benefit if your income is not sufficient to pay a commercial rent, but since I don''t know what rent levels are in your area, it''s hard to say. From her point of view her capital of £20,000 would disqualify her from housing benefit.
Money is going to be tight for both of you and the very last thing either of you need is to spend money on lawyers. You both may have to think of downsizing, but this housing business really is crucial and you need to get your heads together and start talking. I have said before ( and it bears repetition ) that in low income cases, finding a way forward can call for a great deal of skill, much more so than where there is more than enough to go round.
This is only a first reaction but I hope it may be of some help in pointing you in the right direction.
From the onset I said to my ex that we should sort things out betweeen us. She never wanted us to seperate in the 1st instance but the marriage was literally untenable. She was making ridiculous claims for eg that I should pay her £800/month for the rest of my life. I refused and she went off to lawyers.
She is still renting a 3 bedroom massive place by choice, I''m living in a room.
She will not talk to me, the last time I tried all she could do for 3 hours was tell me what a bad person I am. Nothing achieved other than further pain.