Where do I stand?

I am the sole earner in our house,and have been support my wife and 2 children, since we bought our house 6 years ago.

we are now starting divorce preceedings, and she is adamant she will keep the house, which is fine (although I won't be left to live on the street!!)

my main concern is that my wife has received a new credit card, and has ran up the other one, "for food ect." ,she is now under the impression she can spend spend and spend and it will be wipe clean by Citizens advice. I'm worried that it will effect the house where my children will be living.

I myself receive no money, other than what she deems to give me, even though I pay for everything, my wages go into the joint account, and as I'm always working i am unable to control where the money is going.

I will say this is causing me great stress and I am now seeing a Dr for depression and suicidal tendancies, as my thoughts are always "if I die my kids will be provided for" sad and very wrong. I'm just so frustrated at being so helpless. !!

sorry to hear about your plight - have you considered getting a separate bank account and only putting the essential bills costs into the joint account? - also look at your liability of the credit cards - cancel them all and remove the overdraft from the joint account

I'd cancel the cards as a starting point. Have a zero overdraft, so your partner cannot spend more than is in the bank.
Or you could stay in control of the bills being paid, by asking her to forward them direct to you.

Your kids need you, not an extra few pounds for your wife to fritter away. Be fair but take control of your finances and ask her what she is spending it on.

Perhaps you need to take a little time off work to give yourself a break? See a solicitor for some advice.

I know life seems bleak, I have been there, but hang on in and think of your children and how much you love them and they love you.

You are a worthwhile person and your kids are worth living for and although it doesn't seem like it, the new life ahead of you is as well.

Shelia

Hang in there. but in as far as you can take control of the finances. She is spending to show that this is your normal standard and cost of living in the event of getting maintenance. If you can close the joint account and the credit cards in joint names. Have your salary transferred to your own sole account and write to har asking that she open an account for the monthly food bills. Take over all the utility bills yourself. Show yo have separate finances and ask her to live within a certain amount for hoshold monthly expenses. If you can't close the joint account, write to the bank and tell them you are no longer liable for your wife's debts and get your name taken off the account. Get control!!

Medivac, be considerate to let her know what you're doing


I'd gone to John Lewis to buy my kid school shoes, when I went to pay for the shoes (with our joint store card), I had the accounts people, and burley security descend on me at the till point - accusing me of fraudulant use! (Husband had failed to tell me he'd cancelled the account! Even though I settled my own purchases).

Just damn embarrassing, and traumatic in front of small child as mummy was hauled upstairs to the accounts office and then having to explain divorce dramas!