I am married to my 2nd wife and each have children from previous marriages but none together. My wife has told me that when I inherit my parents house and savings etc she will be entitled to half of everything. It''s clear now that she was just playing the long game as she is in a large amount of debt (this stemmed from a previous marriage of hers). Can I protect my inheritance (property plus finances) in the likely event she will divorce me? I was hoping to leave most of it to my three children anyway.
I''ve never used a message board before so please ask any questions and i''m sorry if I haven''t explained properly.
Well there are other issues. Since being with my current wife I have paid off approx £10k of her debts , paid for her three childrens clothes, school trips etc and helped out her family with money to my own detriment as most of this was acheived on mt credit card. She had already amassed £''s of debt before i met her and has an IVA in place. I have done my best to support her as her ex husband does not pay any child maintenance. Problems have now surfaced because she thinks I should see my children less and doesn''t understand how much i miss them. This latest statement about my inheritance has just left me numb. Feel like a fool but I love her and don''t want the marriage to end.
It''s difficult to comment as maybe the inheritance talk was a knee jerk reaction in the heat of the moment? Have you tried relate? Do you think your wife loves you too or are you at the point of thinking she really did only marry you for money?
She has no right to stop you seeing your kids so it sounds like some ground rules need to be set.
One thing I would say is that it is foolish to rely on potential inheritance money these days, with the costs of care for the elderly etc. I learned the hard way when my terminally ill Father changed his Will weeks before his death, in favour of his gold digging wealthy ''girl friend''. But that''s another story!
Sorry to hear about your Dad. It''s hard because my parents are both in their 80''s now and not in great shape. I only see my kids on a Wednesday evening when I take them swimming or pictures etc and every other Sat night they used to come and stay with all of us. We live in my wife''s house from her previous marriage and she makes it quite clear that it''s an inconvenience when my kids come round as her children have to alter their sleeping arrangements?? Don''t ask!! It never seemed to be an issue in the early days when she couldn''t do enough for them. Even to the point now when my 11 year old daughter comes to sit by me, my wife sees it as an attempt to come between us!! I just think it''s normal and i''m glad my daughter still wants a hug. Anyway about 2 months ago we had a row about the atmosphere when my children are around and she threw all my clothes from my wardrobe down the stairs and gathered every picture of me and my kids and told me to get out. I tried to stop her throwing my stuff everywhere and she sctatched my face which wasn''t a pretty sight for my kids the next day. We''ve since made up but now my kids don''t want to come round anymore and my wife says unless they come round as they used to and mix with her kids and become part of "the belended family" then I should restrict my contact with them to just Wed nights only until they change thier mind.
Truth is my kids don''t feel comfortable there anymore and when they saw my scratches and knew I was back at my parents house they just wanted nothing more to do with her.
I have suggested relate but it just keeps being glossed over. My wife seems to be ok when it''s just me and her and her children but reminds me that now we are married that all I inherit will be hers too. I guess I just needed someone to listen to the bigger picture.
Sorry to hear about the physical abuse. You may need to keep a log of that and hopefully someone on here can advise you about what to do. It seems that your wife must feel very insecure if she is jealous of your relationship with your children, which is very sad.
It must also be difficult living in ''her'' house which means that you''ve started married life not on a very equal footing.
I suspect if you decide on the divorce route it''s a financial disaster whichever way you look at it. Have you spoken to your parents about your fears about the money? It might be worth getting some legal advice.
What ages are your children, as you could have any inheritance put in trust for them when they reach say 18 or 21 (25 for mine lol - 17 & bad with money).
This may be the better option & may also help with the tax etc (but not an expert on this)
As for your wife, I am sorry but if the shoe was on the other foot, I am sure she would not let you "interfere" with her relationship with her children, so ergo she should not interfere with you & your children. When people join a "blended family" then they have to accept that - clearly she hasn''t hence your children don''t feel welcome & won''t come over. Hard to mend that relationship really, aside from an apology from here & a change of ways