I''ve asked a couple of questions on here but it''s now got to quite a big decision so I would appreciate some advice.
We have been through mediation and although my stbx has seen nearly piece of evidence I produced, she wouldn''t show me anything she had. We couldn''t agree on the house price because I got market values whereas she only got marketing values which we obviously higher. About six months later, we are at stalemate after several solicitor letters going backwards and forwards with other issues outstanding as well.
I''ve now got to decide if it''s worth trying to carry on resolving it or bite the bullet and go the Court route. Even if we can sort the house price out there are still the other issues that may force it to Court and I have essentially been invited by her to apply to the Court.
Obviously making the Court decision is quite a big one considering that we will both end up worse off due to what is involved but she is just being so stubben. We''ve had six valuations, three each, and she still won''t agree on anything. I''ve made offers and even split the difference between the valuations. A surveyor has been suggested but she''s said she can''t afford it even though it''s cost her more in legal fee''s to keep saying no. Plus, both solicitors have said it should be a 50:50 split yet I''m concerned if I bite the bullet, she will go after everything including costs and SM.
Can anyone give any advice on things I should be considering before I make the next move? I''ve obviously got loads of questions but they may be better asked if or when they arise!
mediation does not work if both parties are not totally honest about their finances. I was in a similar situation and on the verge of applying for AR but eventually compromised as I just wanted closure and not to spend thousands more on legal fees.
Have the experts on here given you any advice on how things might be split if it went to court? If not, then you will need to supply more information. I would then suggest that you sit down with your STBX and work out the difference in what you are fighting about and what the potential legal fees would be. The choice being, string it out for another year or soby going to court, and pay the lawyers tens of thousands, or both come to a compromise settlement.
Are you planning on selling the FMH or is the valuation for one to buy the other out?
I don''t think I have asked any of the experts so maybe I will if needs be.
Although it would be better to sit down with my ex, I unfortunalty do not think we will get anywhere. She has said the amount it would take for her to settle, but based on the mediation report, my solicitor can''t work out where it came from and she won''t justify it either. Even if we took the highest house valuation it still doesn''t work out.
The difference she want''s to get is about £5000 and that is why it''s pointless because it will cost her more than what she stands to gain. On the other hand I don''t want to have to find £5000 just to end it, so maybe I''m just as bad!
My aim is to stay in the FMH so it would be a buy out.
What is the situation at the moment, who is benefiting from the status quo??
Does it have to be sorted because its costing you??
If you are sat in the house, paying the bill etc and its just a case of paying her the money and therefore increasing your mortgage. I would just send her a letter saying when she ready to negoiate a settlement, let me know and sit back and wait.
Thats what my partner did. It really wasnt worth going to court over, so in the end we sat back said no to demands, eventually she gave in and it got sorted.
I think you need to explain to her that she would have to justify in court why she NEEDS what she is asking for. We spent well over £5k in mediation alone so it really is not worth going to court for.
It would be worth you asking on here how a settlement might be calculated through court. Is there something you can compromise on? My ex did this by asking to keep some of his valuable collections (antiques and stuff).
If you''re only £5k adrift then arguing about it via solicitors really is crazy.
We were living together while married for about 5 years but there was a period of cohabitation before that. There are also no children involved. I,m 33 and she''s 29.
My valuations: £200,000 based on mortgage valuation
Ex: £220,000 based on marketing values
Mortgage outstanding: ~£185,000
Sale costs based on 3% of the value
Savings (Liguid capital)
As you can see, we are both young with only a short marriage, on good salary''s and she basically has nothing so the money will be going one way. We are also both living within our means and going by mediation, she is actually better off than me.
The sticking points is the house valuation, she doesn''t want notional sale costs deducted and the split in difference of pensions. My solicitor has suggested a sharing order of 50% of the difference or a cash sum of 25% which is the largest that can be drawn.
I have already compromised on the house price by going up to £210,000 which is the average of all six valuation we have had.
The offer that has been made even had a ''good will gesture'' to try and resolve it.
My solicitor worked out that that based on my house valuation and depending on the pension split, 50:50 would be roughly £7,000. She said £22,000. I doubled my offer and she still wants £22,000.
I probably am being just as stubbon, but I have increased the house price offer by £10,000 and just feel that negotiation is a two way thing. I''ve compromised and met half way, yet I''m now being told to go to Court.
If I went to what she wanted it would mean selling the house and in which case would mean selling fee''s and I doubt we will get what she''s said it''s worth, meaning she will get less than what she is asking for now.