I''m hoping someone can lay my mind at rest.
My husband and I have been married for 14 years and have one child who is 3 years old and lives with me apart from 3 weekends out of 4.
I stupidly had an affair and my husband found out. We were unable to work through things and seperated nearly 2 years ago. He has been co-habiting for 6 months and I will commence co-habiting in a few months.
We rented a house jointly, and when we split I paid him half the deposit back and paid him half the value of my car. I had to do this as he refused to leave otherwise.
We had an overdraft which I paid off in the main, and he had an Amex card which is owed £6500.00, which was in his name only. While seperated it became apparent that he hadn''t filed his taxes properly (he was self-employed) and he now claims that I owe him half of his taxes that he is due to pay, as his wages were paid into our joint bank account. My half would be £3500.00. We had no savings and no assets to speak of.
He has spoken of wanting a divorce, and has basically said that I need to pay him £6500.00 to settle our divorce, or he will go for half of my pension and Petition me for adultery whcih would make me liable for the cost of any divorce. I want to divorce on the grounds that we''ve been seperated for the last 2 years, and I don''t think he would be entitled to half my pension, as he works, has his own work pension, and a personal one that he has been paying into for the last 15 years. I was happy for him to keep his pensions while I keep my one.
Can somone please tell me what he would be able to get from me, based on neither of us having any assets/savings, and both being in debt with credit cards etc.
If your pensions are you only assets then it depends on their relative values. If they are roughly equivalent then it doesn''t make sense to share them as pension providers charge for this.
The costs of the divorce aren''t enormous (about 1000 if straightforward) so what he is threatening isn''t as bad as it seems. But it does appear that you are possibly going to start a court battle over very few assets. Is there any chance of mediation?
I don''t really see where he gets his figure of £6500 from, unless he thinks you should also pay off some of his Amex bill. I think it''s unlikely that you are legally liable for his tax bill though he seems to be arguing that you are morally liable as you helped spend the money.
Unless you think his pension is worth significantly more than yours I suggest that you offer him £3500 as half of the tax bill, as a goodwill gesture. It''s certainly not worth a court battle for either of you if that really is all you have.
If you really think he is about to get nasty and Petition for adultery you could get in first and petition for unreasonable behaviour and ask for him to pay the costs. But if you can I would try to go for two years'' separation by consent and each paying your own costs. If you can come to an agreement about the finances then the wiki service is pretty reasonable.
I wouldn''t be concerned by the threat of a divorce based on Adultery. That "fact" can only be used as grounds if the divorce petition is filed within 6 months of him becoming aware of the Adultery. With that in mind the most straightforward option is to proceed, with agreement, based on two years separation - it doesn''t call for anything other than the consent of each party i.e. no list of causes of "unreasonable behaviour".