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Nothing at all for me? Really?

  • shell990shell
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15 Sep 07 #3435 by shell990shell
Topic started by shell990shell
Hello I don't know if anyone can help me? I met my husband in 2002. He has a (now) 12 year old son. His mother disowned him and he calls me mum and treat me as his own. I had £18k from the sale of my house from a previous relationship and he had some debt, but not a lot. We opened up a business together, a restaurant. I put in the £18k and took out loans for the business aswell. The business went into liquidation after 2 years and was made bankrupt. It was a limited company, but I had put money on my credit cards to keep it afloat and also signed agreements with the bank to say that I'd be guarantor on the company loan. We moved on to live in and run a pub, which ended badly and we were made homeless. We lived in homeless accommodation for a short while. We then rented a house together and both went back to work. I was largely full time carer of my stepson as my husband, being a chef, worked lots of evenings and weekends. We wanted to buy a house and have a baby together but my credit was very bad. We found that in the end it would be better to get the mortgage in his name. I fell pregnant. During this time we agreed the sale on a house. We agreed a price of £123,000. This took 6 months to go through. Prior to completion I had the baby. However, three weeks after she was born my husband came home having worked almost 24/7 since she was born and told me he was unhappy. He said that he didn't feel happy in our relationship and felt I was controlling him. I had control of all the finances as he had a gambling problem and at Gambler's Annonymous they advise you to do this. In ordr to keep him I said he could have all his money and his credit cards back I just wanted to keep him. He proceeded to spend all the money on his cards (approx. £2k) and all his wages so we had no money for the deposit or for my new baby. Obviousley this caused a lot of problems. My mum and Dad contributed £4k for a deposit. However, on the day before completion we agreed that we weren't going to work. He moved into the hous with his son and I moved in to my mum and dad's with my baby daughter. He took most of the contents of the house. I was a new mum and far too emotional without arguments over contents, or did I have anywhere to put them. Since the split I have gone personally bankrupt because I had about £40k of debt in my name from the restaurant. He paid back £3k to my parents. I have had to start again from scratch. He has had the house valued and it is now worth £160,000, so he's made £37k on it. I believe I won't be entitled to anything as we didn't live in the house together and it's all in his name. Have I really lost everything?? Any help or advice would be hugely appreciated thanks :S

I am now living in a house of my mum and dad's but I do pay rent as they have a mortgage on it. My income is £7,200 approx as I only work part time. That's obviously bumped up loads with tax credit, housing benefit, child benefit and maintenance. My net income per month with all benefits etc is about £1200. Wow, sounds loads like that but it's all bills bills bills!

  • Sera
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15 Sep 07 #3439 by Sera
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Blimey!!! :S

Apart from wishing you and your baby a future happy life, I can only suggest this: Your ex will probably tell you it's a short-term marriage, and he'll probably suggest you can't claim against the house, (I'm not sure you can claim your matrimonial home rights if indeed you don't live there?) Hopefully, someone 'legal' person will be along to explain further. My marriage is also 'short-term', but I also went in to a business partnership with my soon2bx, and he's now trying to embezzle me of the profits, by claiming he wants a divorce, and quoting the short-term marriage clause.
However, you will have the right to ask that the whole of your relationship, (including any period of co-habitation) to be looked at, and your contributions. (These look to be massive and generous, and for the greater good of the common purse!).
At various times, you've been up and down, and now he's up. The fact that you have a child will also be considered, and your housing needs, possible spousal payments etc. (If you posted more info on where you're living? Income etc? you'll probably get better answers).
I will suggest though, were this to become a legal 'fight', you would probably lose a massive chunk of that profit on legal fees alone.

Don't allow your ex to intimidate you or scare you.

  • shell990shell
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15 Sep 07 #3441 by shell990shell
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Thank you for your prompt response and helpful advice - it all gives me hope. I don't want to rinse him I just want a little something for everything I put in!

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