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Help please???

  • bakerj
  • bakerj's Avatar Posted by
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24 Jul 12 #345020 by bakerj
Topic started by bakerj
My apologies - I think I posted in the wrong forum yesterday.

I just wondered if anyone had some advice for me?
This is the situation:
Separated 2.5 yrs ago but lived in the same house until Aug 10. marital home was sold and with the 50/50 proceeds we bought separatly with my house being our daughters (age 8) primary residence. I was working pt just before we financially split and then went back ft in order to get a mortgage. At the time of getting the mortgage, I found out that I could ''port'' our mortgage rate which woudl save me a lot. He made is clear that because I was taking the mortgage rate that our mortgages would work out about £300 a month difference and therefore he wouldn''t be paying anything towards our daughter. I had to agree to this because at that point I would have agreed to anything to get out of the house, it was so hard living in the same place by that time.

He works FT but a few months after the financial split, he decided to take a career change and reduce his salary quite significantly. I earn more money than he does but I am lucky and get to stay at home which is the only way I would be able to care for our daughter when she is not in kids club after school.

From the point of living apart he has paid for half of her child care costs and other sundry costs - swimming, Brownies, etc.

In April this year I started divorce proceedings on the basis of 2 yrs separation and started to look at the assets and financial split.

I have done a spreadsheet and with everything taken into account (pensions, endowment, etc.) it works out that I am currently on a 52/48 split and he maintains that I will not get anything else from him because he precidence has been set (I wish I had divorced him when we split but hindsight is a wonderful thing). He is adamant that this £300 a month difference that he is paying towards his mortgage is all that I should ''get'' although I have said that this money could be taken as an asset by me but it couldn''t be taken as an asset AND child maintenance. He is even disputing paying what the CSA calculator now suggests for our daughter. He acknowledge in June that he had a financial obligation towards her and because he mucked around answering letters, etc. we are now nearly in Aug and he says he will only pay from Aug 1st and not back dating to June.

I do not want a huge amount from him - about 10k - but it would just be enough to pay off the car I had to buy because the old family car (which I bought) was starting to cost me lots of money.

I would be grateful for any advice. I am going to see my solicitor next week (I have tried to sort this out directly with my ex to save money) and I think it might be the only way that he will acknowledge that the assets shouldn''t be split 50/50 - I was his wife, not just a girlfriend. I feel like cr4p and it feels like everything I did to support him financially through our marriage (I have always earned more) meant absolutely nothing.


  • TBagpuss
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24 Jul 12 #345052 by TBagpuss
Reply from TBagpuss
You can certainl claim child support from him for your daughter, via the CSA. However, you would not get child care costs on top of this so might not be any better off.

In terms of any further capital split you would need to show that this was fair and reasonable, taking into account your respective needs, finacial resorces, income and earning capacity etc.

It sounds as though there may be an argument that he has a higher earning capacity than his current earnings,and also that your earning capcity may fall - would it still be viable for you to work full time if he were not cntributing towards the child care costs.

There isn''t really enough information to say whether you''d be entitled to more - and even your olicitor won''t be able to give a definitive answer becasue of the degree of discretion which a court has.

That said, with an 8 y.o child it would not be unusual to have an unequal split of capital to take into acount the long-term, higher housing and other needs and the restrictions that caring for a young child inevitably puts n your flesibility in terms of working.

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