Hi, help needed please. We have just exchanged questionnaires and three if their questions are about my new partners finances, asking for: CETV of her pension, P60, 6 months bank statements, does she get cm, WTC,CB etc!! We haven''t been living together long and my stbx has always been very jealous of her. She says if they insist on this I will have to find alternative accommodation as it is not her divorce. She doesn''t mean it in an unkind way it''s just she has already taken alot from my ex already and there is a limit... We don''t have any joint accounts or debts and I live in her house which is a private tenancy that I am not on. They are also asking for who is on tenancy,how long it is, if it''s private etc. This divorce has always been more about my new partner, she is constantly badmouthing her to my children, which thankfully they ignore as they love her very much.
This isn''t my new partners divorce so why should she be expected to make all this disclosure??
Please would someone help?
I was in the same boat (but I wasnt living with my new partner). That is a big mistake- keep your own place until the divorce is done and dusted as it will come to bite you when housing ''needs'' come into play. Essentially, yours are met so your ex could be deemed as being more in need- meaning you get less.
As for your new partners P60 etc- my solicitor went back and told them it was irrelevant. Dont back down on this one. Unless she is named as party to this divorce she needs to disclose NOTHING.
If I were you I would start paying your new partner rent - you will need to list your outgoings and basically, the more you have, the less there is left which means your liklihood of having to pay SM reduces.
Thank you so much. Your reply means alot. Well with regards to settlement we have house and pension and that is it, it''s my pension and marriage was only six years and both under 35 when we separated. We have two children at primary school and when she was working, (gave up just before FDA so she could get legal aid) she took home hundreds more than me.
She is asking for house , contents, car, equity, child support (obviously which I have always paid), spousal maintenance, half my pension AND is seeking a disposition of asset order as I have taken her off my life insurance (obviously) and put my partner on it??? I get left with err, nothing, if I''m lucky!!
Okay.. firstly the courts will ask why she gave up work when it was apparent there would be a reduction in income.
If she was on more than you, she will not get SM.
Honestly, my ex tried all the same except she wasnt working and hadnt worked. We went to FDR and she agreed to less then what I had initially offered her.
6 years is a short marriage but kids change everything. She may get the house and you take on a charge (40%) to be accessed once the youngest is 18... as the kids needs (housing) comes first.
CSA sets child support so go by their guidelines.
I took my ex off my life insuarnce as soon as we split, but her family were sending me death threats so I didnt want her cashing in, just in case they were real.
Its unlikely she will get half your pension as sounds as if she too has one- and if that is the case you could go for half hers.
Contents are usually split 50/50.
Just because she asks for it, doesnt mean she will get it. The BEST thing you can do is to lease a place which is big enough to house your 2 kids and you (within your means). It takes your current partner out of it, but also shows legitimate outgoings.
6 months ago I thought I was going to break- emotionally and financially.. in the end I honestly feel I got a pretty ''fair'' deal. What county are you in as that makes a difference as well?
Omg, can''t believe your responses and help THANK U. I am at breaking.... I can''t afford to do anything as at the mo I am in so much debt due to legal bills I can no longer afford (currently owe £4000). I have offered her: house, equity (only about 40k though) and everything else, contents, car etc and csa payments, I keep my pension. She is young enough to sort her own pension. The thing is due to her being legally funded, this is being dragged on and on... Also because I have a forces pension, all she is seeing is pound signs and wants an actuarial report done (approximate £750 which I simply don''t have) also due to our ages at sep, 31 and 34 and short marriage have been advised this is nit realistic??? Can''t explain the impact this is having on my life,..... ALL HELP AND ADVICE APPRECIATED
She may be legally funded but she will have to pay that back. Its a loan not a gift but I imagine she is angry and bitter and that can cloud good sense.
You will need full financial disclosure of what her income was (her p60) and get it for the past 3-5 years to show it was constant. You will need her pension details as well as any savings etc she has.
I am 10 years older than you and my wife didnt get half my pension, nor did she get the house outright that she wanted.
What she wants doesnt sound realistic, but she will try and hope to break you down so you just give in, just to have it all end.
How old are your kids?, and have you put together an offer?
In the questions, did you ask why she recently gave up unemployment?
You need to try and come to some sort of resolve as your 4K can escalate quickly. I came out owing just over 25K.
I know I keep going on about the housing issue- but if you can move in with someone, anyone, other than your current partner - you will save yourself a lot of grief. Your wife is trying to show that she can contribute to your housing/ food/ needs, and that is why she is asking for her financials. If you both have a joing income significantly more than hers she will try to justify all sorts of financial demands.
I think everyone on her knows the impact it is having. I didnt have 1 grey hair until the ridiculous demands started coming.
Finally- whatever you are giving her now, make sure it is what CSA advises... anything more will go against you as it will be implied you can afford it.
Thank you again! I have no choice re the housing as simply don''t have the money I offered her house,contents , car etc and csa payments and we both keep our pensions. My partner and I together were o ly better off by £300 when stbx was working and that''s both of us working and then I have to pay over 300 csa so that cancels that also my partner has her own children. I thought my offer was fair and saved fees of court and pension sharing costs. Plus she has all capital which she could cash in when sells house etc, my pension is taxable and may never be seen.
Will a judge really go with this?