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Dukeys advice new thread- fair offer?

  • mbird
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28 Aug 12 #352292 by mbird
Topic started by mbird
Sorry guys I am following dukeys advice and posting again, he is right, it is scrambled. I''m trying my best though.
Me 35 stbx 37
2 children 10 & 5
Married 9 years ago-separated 3 years ago
I always worked, condensed hours into 4 day week so could equally share raising children stbx worked part time
Stbx threw me out 3 years ago with 2 binbags and nowhere to go- no third party on my behalf but suspect there was on hers. It was a blessing as she was physically abusive and controlling.
I have been with new partner for 10 months now and since meeting her my stbx has been insanely jealous, and tried to ruin our lives- she has assaulted me in front of my children, I applied for non mol and walked away with contact order. I was happy with that.
She is determined to drag this out as long as possible, she told me this. She gave up work when her legal aid application was refused, thus going on income support which is a passporting benefit.
Okay so we are 6 weeks away from fdr. 1. You have to live somewhere, so where is it ? Is it rented ?
I live with my new partner in rented
2. Have you formed a new relationship ? Has she ?
She has had 4 boyfriends, currently on number 4
3. What other assets, if any, are available to each of the parties ?
Just my pension
The house has 40 k equity in it
She kept the car
So I offered her: house and equity transfer. Car and 25% of my pension.
I want to know is this fair? If she refuses can I apply fir costs?
I have spent 11k so far and am escalating deeper into debt bankrolling this divorce, can''t eat sleep. Also this is having a huge strain on new relationship.
I dint think she will accept as she is he''ll bent on seeing my partners finances(questionnaire asked for new partners wage slips, bank statements, CETV etc etc) I havent provided these and I think she will want to drag this to fdr to try and get judge to order this (she told me this months ago)
HELP

4. For how long have you been in pensionable employment and how does that compare with the length of the marriage ?

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28 Aug 12 #352295 by mbird
Reply from mbird
Re pension CETV is 77k- I realise as police pension should be actarialy valued but I owe my solicitor 2k and simply don''t have the funds which is why I am offering her 25% and equity. So all capital plus 25% of something neither of us nay ever see.

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28 Aug 12 #352297 by mbird
Reply from mbird
Can I also add this divorce has had huge impact on both mine and my new partners health, both were signed off with anxiety and stress for nearly two months around time of non mol- she was constantly texting, ringing, sending her family to my new address etc.
She is constantly badmouthing my new partner in front of my children and calling her obscene names which the children hate as they adore my new Partner

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28 Aug 12 #352299 by mbird
Reply from mbird
Her income before mine with benefits WTC etc was 10k mire than mine prior to her giving up work

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28 Aug 12 #352317 by mbird
Reply from mbird
Bump please

  • MrsMathsisfun
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28 Aug 12 #352319 by MrsMathsisfun
Reply from MrsMathsisfun
I think what you have offered is more than reasonable.

You said when she was working her income was more than yours.

What reasons have she given for giving up work? If this does go to FDR I would make a lot of the fact she gave up a good job prior to the financial settlement.

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28 Aug 12 #352321 by mbird
Reply from mbird
Thanks mathsisfun, she said it''s because of childcare problems-this is rubbish.

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