A well respected, award winning social enterprise
Volunteer run - Government and charity funded
We help 50,000 people a year through divorce

01202 805020

Lines open: Monday to Friday 9am-5pm
Call for FREE expert advice & service info


What are we each entitled to in our divorce settlement?

What does the law say about how to split the house, how to share pensions and other assets, and how much maintenance is payable.

What steps can we take to reach a fair agreement?

The four basic steps to reaching an agreement on divorce finances are: disclosure, getting advice, negotiating and implementing a Consent Order.

What is a Consent Order and why do we need one?

A Consent Order is a legally binding document that finalises a divorcing couple's agreement on property, pensions and other assets.


Do you need help sorting out a fair financial settlement?

Our consultant service offers expert advice and support to help you reach agreement on a fair financial settlement quickly, and for less than a quarter of the cost of using a traditional high street solicitor.


Update.....

  • dukey
  • dukey's Avatar
  • Moderator
  • Moderator
More
02 Sep 12 #353352 by dukey
Reply from dukey
Ok so offer what you can reasonably afford, if they ask for more they are venturing into the land of having their cake and eating it.

  • mbird
  • mbird's Avatar Posted by
  • Platinum Member
  • Platinum Member
More
02 Sep 12 #353355 by mbird
Reply from mbird
That''s the thing dukey, I can''t afford it. She won''t be happy unless she gets her cake and eats the lot!! I thought the applicant for maintenance had to be one with lower income, which when she goes back to work will be me. I know if I offer £5 a month they will just ask for £50 she is just vindictive and greedy.

  • MrsMathsisfun
  • MrsMathsisfun's Avatar
  • Platinum Member
  • Platinum Member
More
02 Sep 12 #353356 by MrsMathsisfun
Reply from MrsMathsisfun
Was the conservatory something that was built when you were together?

Do you know how large the debt was?

As Dukey says if you think that you were actually partly responsible for the debt, then offer to pay towards the cost as a level you can afford.

or could you suggest a lump sum towards the cost and ask for a Clean Break?

My partner had a similar situation with his ex, she repeatedly asked for £100 a month, until youngest child was 18 sm to cover non existent childcare costs. (They earn similar money so a court wouldnt have order anything other than nominal sm) in the end he offered £1k lump sum, Clean Break and she agreed.

  • soulruler
  • soulruler's Avatar
  • Platinum Member
  • Platinum Member
More
02 Sep 12 #353357 by soulruler
Reply from soulruler
I also see no point in submitting more bank statements right now, it would only be necessary if you are still arguing this out and it goes to court.

I think to be valid bank statements need to be within six months in the same way as house valuations.

I would hate to think that you and wife were still arguing things out and wasting costs 6 months down the line.

I think that why it important that you get an open offer back with your suggestion perhaps with confirmation that it is to keep emotional and legal costs down and help both of you move on with your lives.

  • dukey
  • dukey's Avatar
  • Moderator
  • Moderator
More
02 Sep 12 #353360 by dukey
Reply from dukey
There comes a point when you just have to say let a judge decide, far from an easy decision i agree but when you have nothing left to lose the decision is made for you.

Given most applications end quite early on and that you could go this alone maybe with a MF for support so the cost to you is £0 its worth thinking about.

  • mbird
  • mbird's Avatar Posted by
  • Platinum Member
  • Platinum Member
More
02 Sep 12 #353361 by mbird
Reply from mbird
Dukey, thank you. I think you are right. Mathisfun, thank you also and soulruler. So how should I reply to this? Just say it seems that we can''t agree so we have to wait and see what happens at the fdr?
That doesn''t sound very good does it?

  • dukey
  • dukey's Avatar
  • Moderator
  • Moderator
More
02 Sep 12 #353365 by dukey
Reply from dukey
Just be honest say you think they are being unreasonable with the offer and its beyond what you can afford, no harm in mentioning that their client gave up a decent job in order to attain a higher settlement which just wont wash with a judge.

When working she earns more than you so why the need for the nominal order, you have no interest or benefit in the FMH so why should you pay for the conservatory, nice plain English is best, then the ball is in their court.

There is no harm going to FDR and hearing what the judge has to say, what do you have to lose?, you may do better than your offering right now.

Some solicitors just try it on, an example, a few days ago i spoke with a very worried lady, married over 30 years but her ex`s solicitor said the land her ex owned before marriage would be ring fenced and the value of the land is the same as FMH, the lady can`t afford a solicitor and her ex`s solicitor agreed to speak with me, five minutes of heated exchange later the sol agreed it would be considered a marital asset, of course it would he was just trying it on, trying to frighten an old woman into signing a Consent Order that would make her homeless and not receive anything like what she was actually entitled to.

The judge at the FDR will be the great leveler of the playing field, listen to him/her, then decide what to do.

Moderators: wikivorce teamrubytuesdaydukeyhadenoughnowTetsSheziLinda SheridanForsetiMitchumWhiteRoseLostboy67WYSPECIALBubblegum11