Nisi is through, all financial documents are now obtained.
I am at the point of submitting the proposed financial settlement, what is the best way to do this with minimal hassle? (we are not amicable/not speaking - communication is via solicitors!).
I would prefer to go in with a fair, realistic and more or less ''final'' offer (as opposed to me go in very low, her high and we meet in the middle after more wrangling/cost/time).
I know this is not typical Western negotiating tactics. I''m thinking of instructing my solicitor to make the proposal with the view that if she were representing my S2bx, she would advise it is a good offer and to accept it. She knows my S2bx solicitor so should know what he would typically do.
This is all about judging whether your ex wants to actually settle at fair or whether your ex''s agenda is different.
If your ex wants to settle, then starting at ''fair'' is fine.
If your ex does not want to settle, then starting at ''fair'' is suicide.
Trinity Chem is not speaking to his ex and one has to assume its therefore acrimonious.
When divorces are acrimonious, one party or the other has absolutely no interest in ''fair''.
Just look at all the posts on Wiki regarding contact and finances and other mindless disputes: most have nothing whatsoever to do with any reasonable notion of fairness. It is invariably one side trying to give the other side a really good kicking.
Unfortunately for Chem, if he starts with ''fair'' and his ex''s agenda is to give him a kicking, then he will have scored a monumental own goal.
I could well be in a similar situation when we eventually get around the point of making offers.
I''d like to agree the same division that STBX and I discussed this spring, which is quite generous in his favour. That''s because I don''t see the point in wasting time and money arguing over a couple of thousand pounds.
However, STBX has made it obvious during the divorce part of proceedings that he is determined to delay and thwart the process as much as he can, simply out of spite. So if I make a sensible offer, he will reject it and ask for more because it will delay things further.
So either I start from a direct 50:50 split, or I simply leave it for the courts to adjudicate ...