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What are we each entitled to in our divorce settlement?

What does the law say about how to split the house, how to share pensions and other assets, and how much maintenance is payable.

What steps can we take to reach a fair agreement?

The four basic steps to reaching an agreement on divorce finances are: disclosure, getting advice, negotiating and implementing a Consent Order.

What is a Consent Order and why do we need one?

A Consent Order is a legally binding document that finalises a divorcing couple's agreement on property, pensions and other assets.


Do you need help sorting out a fair financial settlement?

Our consultant service offers expert advice and support to help you reach agreement on a fair financial settlement quickly, and for less than a quarter of the cost of using a traditional high street solicitor.


What is the best way to Propose a Settlement Offer

  • Trinity Chem
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05 Sep 12 #353998 by Trinity Chem
Topic started by Trinity Chem
Nisi is through, all financial documents are now obtained.

I am at the point of submitting the proposed financial settlement, what is the best way to do this with minimal hassle? (we are not amicable/not speaking - communication is via solicitors!).

I would prefer to go in with a fair, realistic and more or less ''final'' offer (as opposed to me go in very low, her high and we meet in the middle after more wrangling/cost/time).

I know this is not typical Western negotiating tactics. I''m thinking of instructing my solicitor to make the proposal with the view that if she were representing my S2bx, she would advise it is a good offer and to accept it. She knows my S2bx solicitor so should know what he would typically do.

What''s the common view out there?

  • rugby333
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05 Sep 12 #354004 by rugby333
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I want to put this succinctly and gently.

Going in with a fair offer as a starting point is crass, madness and doomed to failure.

Do not, under any circumstances, make that mistake.

You cannot conclude this negotiation in your time horizon. If you wish to reduce legal fees. Make a low offer and say nothing else for a few months.

  • esox11
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05 Sep 12 #354006 by esox11
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A very negative reply.... which is a shame but possibly realistic.

I am amicable (ish) and seeking to do the same. 50/50 and get it done asap.

Surely going in low just antagonises and causes more solicitor cost.

  • WhiteRose
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05 Sep 12 #354007 by WhiteRose
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With me and my ex I put forward what I considered a fair offer and he accepted straight away (it must have been round about what he had in his mind anyway)

We did the whole thing between us, so no legal costs involved.

Do you know round about what she is expecting?

If you are negotiating via solicitors the starting low can insult the other side and a battle of principles could begin.

Some people would prefer not to go to Court and may be advised by their Solicitor to accept a fair offer to settle out of Court.

Good Luck & let us know how it all goes.

  • esox11
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05 Sep 12 #354013 by esox11
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I would hope to go that way WR.

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05 Sep 12 #354021 by rugby333
Reply from rugby333
This is all about judging whether your ex wants to actually settle at fair or whether your ex''s agenda is different.

If your ex wants to settle, then starting at ''fair'' is fine.

If your ex does not want to settle, then starting at ''fair'' is suicide.

Trinity Chem is not speaking to his ex and one has to assume its therefore acrimonious.

When divorces are acrimonious, one party or the other has absolutely no interest in ''fair''.

Just look at all the posts on Wiki regarding contact and finances and other mindless disputes: most have nothing whatsoever to do with any reasonable notion of fairness. It is invariably one side trying to give the other side a really good kicking.

Unfortunately for Chem, if he starts with ''fair'' and his ex''s agenda is to give him a kicking, then he will have scored a monumental own goal.

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05 Sep 12 #354075 by SilverFir
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I could well be in a similar situation when we eventually get around the point of making offers.

I''d like to agree the same division that STBX and I discussed this spring, which is quite generous in his favour. That''s because I don''t see the point in wasting time and money arguing over a couple of thousand pounds.

However, STBX has made it obvious during the divorce part of proceedings that he is determined to delay and thwart the process as much as he can, simply out of spite. So if I make a sensible offer, he will reject it and ask for more because it will delay things further.

So either I start from a direct 50:50 split, or I simply leave it for the courts to adjudicate ...

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