I''ll try to be brief and concise. I divorced my ex for UB in March ''11.
We tried mediation but it failed when ex withdrew at the point we had almost reached agreement (which was far from his original plan to leave me a house which has lost value in the recession and to deny me a pension share from our long marriage).
Since then my ex repeatedly failed to submit a financial status form and eventually agreed to a pension share (50% which has been agreed by our pension provider) and a share in the equity of the home plus maintenance for our daughter until she completes higher education. This was an agreement we came to in exchange for a non submission of a financial statement.
So fast forward a year. Many draft consent forms have been sent to him, each one altered slightly in response to his objections (the last one was to the term ''education'' being used) and I have made many more concessions than he has. He consulted a solicitor once and wishes to represent himself even if it went to court.
Our house sale completed on Friday and all the equity is being held at my instruction until he signs the Consent Order and it is lodged at court - I do not believe that he would have any incentive at all to sign papers if he has what he wants, namely cash in his hands and it is the pension share that he most objected to although has agreed to it.
I want to know if I would have to pay all the cost of going to court to end this nonsense. It has already cost me £5k to get this far and I feel he could mess about for ever unless I do something. Could I ask the court to make him pay half the costs if all my efforts to settle were being obstructed by him?
It seems to be, frankly, that the long and the short of it is that you have no order.
The whole point of having an order at all is that it is enforceable. Without an order, what you may agree between yourselves may not be similarly enforceable.
In all these cases, you have to balance what it will cost you to get an order against what you might get out of it.
And don''t assume that your husband''s points are necessarily unreasonable. I always advise the greatest care in drafting orders dealing with the maintenance of grown up children through uni. You must both be very clear ( after all she is your daughter as well as his ) exactly how much support you are prepared or able to finance. To say you will support a child '' until the end of full time education '' can mean just about anything and can include, for example, postgraduate courses/degrees. If you''re going to do that, unless he''s mega rich, I''d advise you must specify very precisely how long you intend to support her.
I probably didn''t make it clear enough that we have negotiated the percentage sums, the purpose and for how long with absolutely everything. The only concession my ex made was for a pension split. He earns double my salary and is younger - all of our joint and several responsibilities have been (as far as is able from my working knowledge of his situation given his refusal to disclose) considered. And I have agreed to everything he has had proposed including a far lesser share of the house equity in exchange for 38.8% pension share.
I am clear and he is clear about our financial responsibilities for all the matters we have negotiated. But he STILL sends letters to my sol which further erode our previous agreements.
in any case my sol has said enough is enough and we shall apply for a first hearing next Monday if my ex finds yet another reason to dispute my latest agreement to his proposals.