STBX committed adultery but filed for divorce on the grounds of my unreasonable behaviour.
Together for 20 years, married for 18. no children.Both in Mid 50''s
I had my own flat 6 years before i met him and then worked financed our lives, travel etc. for the last 20 years. He worked on and off for maximum of 7 years of this time as a builder. He Is a dreamer and binge drinker, and never wanted to work.
As he hated living in the city, was angry irritable and depressed and wanted to move by the sea, 5 years ago, i agreed to remortgage my flat and buy the other house on an interest only loan for £180,000 as his mother had left her house to both of us in her will when she had full mental capacity, a year earlier. The flat was rented out but only just covered the new mortgage and I was still working. i gave up my job to finish some further studies and recently got a low paid part time job.
After i found out about his adultery and end of the marriage, 18 months ago I organised 1 mediation session where he wanted everything split 50/50. Mediator acknowledged my greater financial contribution and expressed his concern that he could engineer a change in his mothers will.
I left and moved around staying with friends for 10 months and then returned when he served divorce papers. I moved back into my flat but now have this interest only loan on the mortgage.
Our solicitors agreed voluntary disclosure of finances. As he was unemployed for 13 years of 20 year relationship, and I totally supported him through that time, he had no financial information to prepare, whereas I had managed all the finances and prepared a detailed financial spreadsheet of the last 20 years and all my work and input. He then filed for Court Hearing at the city where the woman he has been in a relationship lives. We have just exchanged form E''s. he has lied on the form as I knew he would and is claiming he had savings which he survived on - whereas I had said he had stolen £13,000 of his mothers saving as he manages her finances. His mothers dementia has progressed further and she is now 90 - but I found out he had got a solicitor up a few months ago and got her to change her will. He is rushing the whole process through - obviously so he will get as much as he can and also his mothers inheritance - or what there is of it as well. On his from E he has not mentioned his mothers will or the fact that he has been in a new relationship for over 2 years with a woman who has her own £300,000 mortgage free house and earns a good living. I contributed a lot of my inheritance money of £80,000 on debts and bills from running the properties. He wants the mortgage free house. As he insisted the court hearing is in another city I now have to get a barrister at a cost of £1.500. Does anyone have any experience or advice as to whether in any circumstances future inheritance is taken into account as i know I have read on these forums that it never usually is.
Can I challenge the lies he has told on his form E and ask him to produce evidence of these savings he said he has lived on. I suspect that the new woman is also financing his life now as there were payments going into his account from round the corner form where she lives. i don''t think he knows that I know her address, but he left documents on my computer that show she recently financed a holiday abroad for them both and insurance policy she took out for a year as a couple.
Can I ask for her financial information to be disclosed, even though he has not mentioned her on the form and ask about her future intentions???? He has said he needs to live in the mortgage free house as he has to care for his mother. From friends, I believe he wants the property, will just sell it and move to the city where she lives after the divorce as he was never interested in caring for his mother and I did a lot of caring of her before getting a paid carer in for her.
Is it worth trying to be ethical and honest and spending time and energy on fighting any more or just give up = put it down to very bad experience, let him have the mortgage free house and his mothers inheritance and say I will keep my flat which would be about the same value if it was sold after the mortgage was paid off - then either sell my flat in a few years time if I can''t find any way of paying off the interest only loan. I am totally confused and lost as to what to do as my finances are now almost completely depleted.
Any advice or ideas would be much appreciated.