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What am I entitled to? - Short Marriage

  • RLawson
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25 Sep 07 #3899 by RLawson
Topic started by RLawson

I have just recently separated from my husband and would like some advice on what I am entitled to financially?

Here is my story, thanks for taking the time to read it :)

I have been married to my husband for 1 year, we were living together for 18 months prior to getting married. He has 2 children from a previous marriage and I have 3 from a previous marriage also.

He has a large 4 bedroom house which is worth over £350k, along with 2 other houses abroad and has just inherited a very large sum of money following his mother's death.

Whilst we were married I contributed to the home and looked after all the children. The house is soley in my husband's name as he would not allow me to be put on the mortgage. To protect myself I registered a charge against the house which means he cannot sell it without my permission.

We are now trying to reach a financial settlement. I am now in rented accomodation with my children and the cost and standard of living is now very different.

I am dealing with my solicitor to see if we can reach a settlement, my ex has offered me £10k as a figure and my solicitor said that I should not accept.I estimate that his assets are worth in excess of £750k. I do not want to be seen as a money grabber or gold digger but I just want an adequate settlement to rebuild my life and again. I left him because of domestic violence and that fact he was very controlling in every aspect of my life including money.

Has anyone else been in a similiar situation to me? Ideally I do not want to go to court, but I am unsure as to what I am entitled to?

Any help greatly appreciated.


  • pembslass
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25 Sep 07 #3901 by pembslass
Reply from pembslass
Hi Rachel
Well done for having the foresight to have a charge added to the house. That must have taken guts to start with.
I am in a similar position with my ex. Only married for 20 months but he moved in here after selling his house and keeping all the money and when he left had £100k in the bank with £2,500 net pay each month plus quarterly bonuses. He however chose to keep me at home even though he complained about me not working but every time I went for an interview where there was a man there hewould give me a hard time so i tured down the jobs offered.
I had a letter this morning from my solicitor with a letter from his saying that he will accept the unreasonable behaviour claim against him but only pay for half of court costs ie £173.50 (tight or what) and wants to meet for mediation to discuss the finances. So I have to pay half of a divorce that I have not asked for (he left one saturday morning whilst I was out) and have to face a man who was a bully for our time together to discuss money which I don't want to do.
I have been told that I do have a claim for a lump sum even though he had paid for everything and I will be keeping my house even though its classed as an asset.
You should be able to claim more than £10,000 so stick with it.
I know that wasn't much help but just saying you're not alone

  • TMax
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25 Sep 07 #3906 by TMax
Reply from TMax
Pembslass. RLawson well hehehe sitting in a room with your to be Ex to be/is, isnt very nice at all I can tell you that, you have to grit your teeth, show a LOT I mean a LOT of restraint, and when youve done that and walked out youve won the first bit of the self worth battle and first strike to you. You never know the mediation people may stop it as mine did for the amount of contradictory lies told from what was siad only minutes before and not turning up, or in my exs case turned up twice the worse for ware from alehouses frequentes, mine was warned and didnt listen so was struck out :-)pleased my Sols a lot :-)mind you it also helpd to fill thier pockets from the costs of letters back and to.

Go for what you think is comfortable as the sols will take their portion of costs long before you get your hand on it even if your on legal aid.

  • Sera
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25 Sep 07 #3907 by Sera
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I'm in similar boat, but no kids.

Firstly, a court would probably look at the entire length of your relationship, (even though that could be deemed short-term also).

There are no 'rules' but your needs will be considered. Usually in short-term marriage, each party can be returned to how life was before. You don't say where you and your kids were? Housing needs have to be met, (can you get council? Housing association etc?) He could justify his needs to stay in his house, because of his childrens needs.
A court could order spousal maintenance, if you've relied on his income, (I imagine though that your kids dad pay for your kids)?

I agree £10k is not enough, but the emotional reason you left, (abuse!) serves well as a reason for divorce petition, but doesn't seem to have a £££ value attached! (Yeah, I know! They use you! Then try and walk off with everything!)

I've only been married since end Jan. My ex can't even apply until end Jan 2008 for divorce to start. We are trying to find a financial settlement in mediation.
My wedding dress is still propped over the curtain pole. It took longer to hand-embroider it - than the actual marriage lasted!

I also registered against the property, because I made him £600,00 richer (Business and property deals)...he bleats "short-term marriage" at me, and I'm fighting for a share of the profits! (Which he denies of course).

As my friend says "Thank God you only gave him 2 yrs Sera, take your 'compensation' and your 'earnings' and get on with having a fab life without him"!

I think the 'nanny fees' alone in your case would exceed the paultry £10k offerings. (I bet your duties included on-tap 24 hr chef also!)

Five kids!!!??? :blink::blink::blink::S

  • pembslass
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25 Sep 07 #3929 by pembslass
Reply from pembslass
Hey Skyelord, thanks for advice.

I did say that I didn't want any money from him - just glad to rid of him. He is the one who is hung up on money and will be expecting me to grab and run.

But I am led to believe that a court will not agree to any financial settlement if it is not fair and leaves one person better than off than another.

I will already have to pay costs because I will be keeping my house so if I can get a lump sum from him which covers the costs I will have to pay to retain my house then its got to be worth it!!

Good luck Rachel

PS Anyone want to buy a wedding dress?

  • Sera
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25 Sep 07 #3931 by Sera
Reply from Sera
PS Anyone want to buy a wedding dress?[/quote]


... we should have a 'quote of the week' thread, that'd win hands down!

  • LittleMrMike
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25 Sep 07 #3939 by LittleMrMike
Reply from LittleMrMike
Dear Rachel,

Not an easy question to answer, this, because the law on the treatment of short marriages is notoriously vague and nebulous. I doubt if you would get very much of his inheritance, if anything, but I think your solicitor is right to advise you not to take the £10K. It is clear that even after a short marriage is entitled to some share in ' matrimonial assets ' ( of which the marital home is clearly one ) regardless of the length of the marriage. Having regard to your husband's means, I certainly think your case is reasonable but it is difficult to talk in terms of ' entitlement ' given the current lack of clarity on the subject.

Mike 100468

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