Don't know what to do

Hello,

Firstly may I say that this site is amazing. I just stumbled across it a few days ago and have been impressed by the wealth of information that is on it.

I wonder, before I throw myself off the top diving board, if anyone can give me an idea of what financial settlement I can expect if I decide to divorce my wife.

Married for 10 years, my wife is 48 and I'm 39. We have no children. She earns 23K and I earn 42K. We have no savings. House is in my name valued at £230K, with an outstanding mortgage of £80K. Our pensions are about equal in value as I haven't contributed for a few years.

The house was owned by me for 8 years before the marriage. She moved in with me from rented accomodation. I have been paying 80% of household bills including the mortgage the whole time we have been married.

In a nutshell am I likely to automatically kiss goodbye to 50% of the equity of the property?

Thanks for your advice.

Squirrel

On the surface, I think that is your starting point. 10 years is not a short marriage, so the general 50:50 starting point would probably apply.

More experienced posters might have a different view...

Crap isn't it?
Best of luck
Mike

Well, you're right to test the temperature of the water before diving in.

I'm sorry, I don't think you're going to like this.

On the basis of what you say, I think

1. It is highly likely the Court would order a sale of the FMH.
2. My namesake is right when he says that 50% is a starting point, but the needs of the parties, and in particular their need for a home, is always more important that mathematical formulas.
3. The fact that you owned the house before marriage is not without relevance, but the longer the marriage, the less important it becomes.
4. There is also quite a disparity in your net incomes, and the issue of spousal maintenance did cross my mind. As a general rule of thumb, and award would be considered if your earnings were more than twice those of your wife. So you are just on the right side of the border but - - you're close.
5. I think a judge might take a view that your income, and therefore your ability to borrow, is rather better than your wife's. It is possible that her share of the equity might be more than 50% to allow for this factor. Now I do not want to be dogmatic about this because it may depend on where you live and whether it is possible for your wife to buy a suitable house with her share of the equity. It's obviously more difficult if you live in London. But the point is, your wife needs a home and a judge will want to make sure she has one.
6. The trade off could be a Clean Break and disposing of your wife's possible claim to maintenance.

I cannot claim to be the world's leading authority on the subject and perhaps you could get an appointment with an experienced family law solicitor and check this out. Shouldn't cost you an arm and a leg.

Mike 100468

Oh dear. Sounds like I'm caught between the devil and the deep blue sea.

Either stay in a deeply unhappy marriage with a woman who has no respect for me and sees me as a money making machine or leave her and end up giving most of my hard earned equity away.

Enough to make me feel suicidal.

Thanks everyone for your advice.

Secret

Squirrel,
Yes, but you have the ability to develop an exit strategy and to get certain things in place before you announce the news, if that is the route to go. You are not having to react to a bombshell from your partner. You are in the driving seat.

Have you looked at marriage guidance (Relate) at all? Is it possible that your partner would look at counselling with you?

You can see the devastating financial implications, but there are also the emotional and practical issues to consider.

What I am saying, is before you embark on this horrific road, be sure that it is the route to take. It really isn't nice, and it really screws you up. Exhaust all other possibilities first.

Good luck

Mike

I agree with Mike check that there are no other options available before taking the plunge. It is difficult to u turn on this road once started. If you find communication difficult now. It becomes impossible once things get started.

I agree with Mike check that there are no other options available before taking the plunge. It is difficult to u turn on this road once started. If you find communication difficult now. It becomes impossible once things get started.