Hi this my first post.
I went to court last month for a first hearing and a settlement was agreed. I accepted his offer of house, endowments, 40%pension. Endowments to be cashed in so I can reduce the mortgage and pay legal aid costs. Need to get a job not easy as was a stay at home mum for 24yrs.
Last week found out about bank account that he didn't declare (I know he's got money put away). Unfortuneately I don't have any docs for this a/c. I'm now wondering if I should have accepted the offer or would it have been better for me if it had included say less pension and a lump sum? I feel as though I have been cleverly manouvered by him. He's bought house with gf and one of the children lives with them. They are both earning a good income. I've been struggling on benefits and so far have received no maintainence for the children. He has managed to get the csa to reduce what he should pay despite his 37k income.
I wonder what anyone thinks of above? On the face of it I know its a good settlement but I have been married to this man for a v long time and endured severe dv.
Solicitor is still waiting for the Consent Order and in the meantime wants me to sign the absolute papers. I want to be sure I've agreed to the best settlement. Also my solicitor appears to have lost all my financial documents this is a major headache for me is there anything I can do about this?
Its hard to say whather the deal you accepted is fair or not without much more detail on teh amounts involved (list of assets with values and what you got) each of your incomes plus number of kids, their ages and who they live with.
But it is wrong of him not to declare a bank account.
It sounds like the settlement is a Clean Break. So you have taken higher percentage of assets but agreed to claim no spousal maintenance.
If you are unable to work and have no hope of generating your own income then the spousal maintenance (which could be 10,20,30%) of his income on top of child support could have been a very significant benefit.
You should discuss this with your solicitor.
The best time to reassess this is now before you sign the Consent Order.
You didn't sign the Consent Order at Court?
I signed a handwritten Consent Order after it was read out by the District Judge at my FDR - then it went back to my solicitor for getting rid of mistakes typing up - I think she called it perfecting the Order. I thought it was just a draft and there'd be a cooling off period like with most contracts but I was told we had already signed the Consent Order and that was that
I feel the same as you - the court was such a nightmare I would have given anything to get out and it was costing so much - I abandoned a lifetime rule and agreed to something I didn't really want or even understand the effect on me.
If I could do it again - and I am considering it because I'm not happy with my deal and there were mistakes in the evidence - I would not sign until I understood every dot and comma
The court should have all your financial papers - I'm not sure if people can but I want to go to the court to look at my divorce file - ie I want to see what the District Judge saw about our case
I've already spotted a serious error on the stuff my solicitor sent to court
I think you can't get the pension share until you've got Decree Absolute- if you haven't signed the Consent Order and you're unhappy with the deal why not take a couple of weeks out to look at it all before you go to Absolute - pension share takes 4 months anyway
I think I have signed the Consent Order. It was hand written at court and typed up by his solicitor, but while they where typing it up they added in that he would only pay mortgage for may and nothing after that. This was not in the document I signed. After we came out from being in with the judge he then said above not while we where negotiating. I don't know if I can do anything about this now. I did say on phone to my solicitor that it can't be legal for his solicitor to add in something I hadn't agreed to at the time.
I'm supposed to be trying to get him off mortgage etc.,but I'm not good at mo got PTSD and trying to cope with dv after effects.
his income 37k
his pension CETV 196k
me on benefits