Just joined the site and already have found a lot of useful information.
My wife had me move out of the marital home in Nov 05. I ran my own business, and although things were not going as they could, I paid the mortgage in full 1400/month and kids school fees of £400/month until Sept 06.
I had an investment property which I sold to put some money into the nusiness to keep it going but ex stopped this with her solicitor and funds were frozen - and my business collapsed as I had no acess to the capital. I was declared bankrupt in Sept 06.
I have my kids 2 nights a week, take them to school most mornings and have plenty of contact. AS of now I am paying 160/month CSA and the 400/month fees.
Because of the bankruptcy my ex should get all the equity remaining in marital home of around 200,000. She also held on to the proceeds of investment property sale of approx 60,000.
I started a new job immediately after bankruptcy and moved to a new position in May 07. My ex has only just got a new job which she starts next week. She now wants me to both dropoff and collect the kids every day, which I cannot do because of my job, and expects me to pay for a minder for the whole thing which at the minute I simply cannot afford. Dont get me wrong I love my kids and will try my best to do it but it just seems that every penny I get is committed and this is all before a maintenance order where I would have to pay her a monthy amount.
Can anyone help re the following questions
1. If she is the primary carer, then surely she must take responsibility for some of the cost in getting children minded after school.
2. How is maintenance calculated? I earn approx 2000/month net/ £570 rent - 160 csa - 400 school fees.
3. If after the divorce my earnings increase can the maintenance be varied?
Steve. What I can add is small as I am not experianced in this area. All I can say is that it sounds like the outcome from ancilory relief will be that you wont have a Clean Break as you are likely to be paying your ex for a while. You can get orders varied but you have to go back to court. Its not a simple process and you may fail or you may get the order increased. It will also cost you to go back to court so it has to be worth it.
What I would do in your situation is try and negotiate a settlement. But as I said above I am not an expert. Hopefully someone with a bit more nonce will come along. Chris.
Your wife may be thinking that you are a sort of "distant-husband" rather than an xtb. As primary carer it is up to her to manage the day to day stuff re the children with her.
As the father you should provide parental responsibility which is not the same as child minding or being at her beck and call.
You pay her, it is up to her to manage her expenditure, that includes her choice to use a child minder to further her job. Not an easy choice, but it is hers and not yours.
If I knew how maintenance was calculated I'd be a lot less nervous!
Maintenance can be varied upon application if circumstances change but the court won't monitor th eparties to the divorce. If you get a raise, your payments may increase, if you lose your job, you may end up getting money from her (although I doubt that unless you then take care of the children).
Like Chris writes, try and negotiate a settlement but bear in mind that BOTH of you have an individual life to lead now.