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What are we each entitled to in our divorce settlement?

What does the law say about how to split the house, how to share pensions and other assets, and how much maintenance is payable.

What steps can we take to reach a fair agreement?

The four basic steps to reaching an agreement on divorce finances are: disclosure, getting advice, negotiating and implementing a Consent Order.

What is a Consent Order and why do we need one?

A Consent Order is a legally binding document that finalises a divorcing couple's agreement on property, pensions and other assets.


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Is he doing what he says he is doing>????

  • tderic
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04 Oct 07 #4294 by tderic
Topic started by tderic
I have been divorced since 12th july 2007. But are still going through the finacial side. We both recieved a M1 form which we corrected together and sent back to his soli so he said. That was 4 weeks ago and still i have heard nothing. I am trying to get in touch with my soli but as usual i can never get to speak to anyone.

My x still lives in the house with me and our daughter 16. He want leave as he says that he has no where to go. And he dont want to live with his parents who have a 3 bed house. we have agreed to a 60 / 40 split to me but until the form has been done and signed i cant do any thing, If he is holding this up could this go for him as our daughter will be 17 at xmas. She is at college now but could it mean that the longer he leaves this he hopes that he will not have to give me the 60%. We are both on benifits, i have been the bread winner for the last 9 years but i had to give up work as our little boy got bone cancer in 2004. My baby died last year after we nursed him at home aged 9. It was a really bad time and some thing that we will never get over. But i have had to fight to get him to agree to help me buy a smaller house in a nice area for our daughter. He argued over this for nearly 6 months and then agreed to the 60/40 split.
I am so disheatened that he could be so mean as our daughter is all we have left and surly she is the most important thing in all of this.

I am so worried that with him delaying the form that me and my daughter will end up with not enough for a little home of our own. Does anyone know if this could happen.

  • LittleMrMike
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04 Oct 07 #4295 by LittleMrMike
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Form M1 implies a Consent Order. It looks to me as though the marital home is your only substantial asset but would you mind telling me what the terms of the proposed consent order are ?

I have not heard of a case where the terms of a Consent Order have been agreed and one party has gone back on his/her word, but I suppose it would mean that you would have to go through the Courts to get an order. But that is not in your interest, nor in your husband's. It just runs up costs and that cannot be in your interests,, nor his. If you are on benefits you will presumably both be getting legal aid, and as you presumably know, this is a loan.

I agree with you, your husband's behaviour sounds tactical, but only you will know what efforts he has made to secure accommodation and why he won't move in with his parents, or indeed, whether that is an option open to him. The difficulty which I see from your x2b's point of view is that he is going to need housing benefit, and a lump sum will affect this or even cancel it out altogether. Come to that, it would affect his benefits generally. I don't know why your husband is on benefits and how reasonable it is for him to work. I think that, from his point of view, the name of the game is that he hopes that if he can delay moving out until your daughter is off your hands, he will get a larger share.

What I would do, initially, is to have a look at what your solicitors have told you about the complaints procedure which operates in that firm. You are entitled to the same standard of service as a paying client. I think you need advice and quickly. If it is any reassurance, I think that, on the very limited facts I have, a 60/40 split in your favour does not seem all that fanciful or improbable. The risk is that the benefit could be eroded by costs.

Good luck
Mike 100468

  • Fiona
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04 Oct 07 #4298 by Fiona
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I'd try not to worry until you've been in touch with your solicitor. My solicitor was very good at getting back to me quickly but when our settlement was roughly at the same stage as yours there were a number of circumstances beyond her control which prevented her from doing so. Until contact is made you don't know what the circumstances are and it's best IMHO to avoid speculation and focus on the here and now. I know, easier said then done.

  • tderic
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04 Oct 07 #4341 by tderic
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thank you both for your replys. i spoke to my soli today and he called my husbands soli who said that they have a back log to catch up on and they will sort it out as soon as they can. At least now i know that my x did send it. It seems to be a waiting game now. Does any one know what will happen to the consent form once it goes to court, would we have to go there as well or will it just go before the judge?

Once this has been sorted in court will that be the end of it and once the house is sold we just split the remaing money as per the order??

Once again thank you both for all your help. I dont know any one that is going through this but i do have good freinds so i am very lucy.

  • TMax
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05 Oct 07 #4353 by TMax
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I beleive that once the split of the pot has been done for both parties all benefits will be stopped anyway as they say you can now afford to live on what you have untill it comes down to a certain size ie £3000 but dont quote me on that amount, I only say this because I have a pension that pays my mortage and Im allowed NO STATE BENEFITS (get that bit of anger out :-)) what so ever including medication.

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05 Oct 07 #4366 by tderic
Reply from tderic
thanks for your reply. lol i have worked all my life and the last 10 years i have kept my family as my x cant work due to his health and since my son had a leg amputation in 2005 i have not worked. I just couldnt handle him on chemo and the amputation as he was only 8 years old. And i am now trying to sell the house and get rid of the pain in my backside so that my daughter and i can support ourselves and NOT HIM. Then perhaps we can both move on. I have a wonderful daughter who i want to give a happy home but i cant do this untill we can move. Then i will be back in the rat race. I am even going back to college to do the next level in my course. :woohoo:It is just very hard when he want move out and drinks all the time. He has argued for 6 months about the house split but he dont want to help to get the house done, but once again i have tried sorting it out myself. All i need now is a buyer. Then i know my life will get better.

corrr glad i got that off me chest. lol

Thank tracey

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05 Oct 07 #4370 by TMax
Reply from TMax
Perhaps we can colude and get him to meet my X Im sure they could have deep conversation about drink labels mine could tell what it says from a 100 mtr I reckon had them so often :-)on a good day could probably tell you what shelf it came from in asda LOL

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