I have been married to a nice guy for over five years. Unfortunately, love has now gone. Well, he says he still loves me. I am afraid, I no longer love him. We only just bought a flat- about 4 months ago. I am on the mortgage. As a deposit I invested 10%, he invested 90%, the rest- is a joint mortgage. What will I get if I ask him for a quick divorce? I dont want his pension, savings, etc. Just a share of the flat. I might be acting bit strangly by not asking for a maximum I can, but really, the priority is to divorce ASAP. I cant live with someone I dont love. And another question if I may please: can it be done without seperation? Is there the minimum time a divorce can take?
Many thanks indeed.
With such a short marriage and even shorter property ownership if you deposited 10% then you get 10% which means your intial input plus 10% of the increase in value of the property since purchase. Fairs fair!!
If you settle in this way without legals then you can move on very quickly and without losing further money. If you think you should get more and seek legal advice you will cause a lot of heartbreak, have many sleepless nights and lose more money than you hope to gain.
I'm in a short-term marriage also, but it was my husbands sudden irrational idea to divorce.
I'm only curios about the human ethic side of your story. (Obviously you don't need to answer)...
You did love him for five years, and you obviously just bought this flat, and within a few months, wanted out.That remains your choice, but I'm wondering about the reasons behind wanting out once the seriousness of a situation (like borrowing a mortgage, co-owning property etc) suddenly causes the 'wanting out asap' route, which is what my x2b wants. (Sorry to ask that, but it would shed some light, since a lot of us bewildered forum folk are searching for reasons we've been dumped and shafted).
Most peoples' first posts are How much will I get? (Which mine was too!) But further emotional issues also help us with the understanding of the bits the legal side doesn't cover.
I agree that you're not likely to get more than you put in.
Unfortunately these days the average marriage in the UK lasts about 11 years so arguably 5 years is a medium term one. The cut off point for a short marriage can be anything from 3-10 years. To achieve legally a 'fair' settlement the overall circumstances have to be considered.
You say you no longer love him. Do you really mean that, or is it just that you are no longer in love? I only ask because it seems to me a lot of people give up on a relationship when the initial passion dies down not realising what real love is.
"For that is just being in love; which any of us can convince ourselves we are. Love itself is what is left over, when being in love has burned away." Louis de Bernières
Anyway if you do leave your husband I think you will find the quickest way to divorce is actually not to pressurise him and at least give him the time he needs to come to terms with the devastation of being left.
Well.. it is imbarrasing really.. We did not have sex for over a year now. That's a reason number one. Second, he does little to keep the place in order. Third, his job means he comes back around 3 AM and works most of the weekends (I do 9 to 5). I never tried to change the way he was and is now. I just tried to accept. I cant do it anymore. I know we just bought the flat. It really looked like it could improve our relationship.. I dont even know what ground/reason I can use to get divorced. I just wonder if someone somewhere have been in a similar situation.
Valery, obviously I don' know the full story, but it occurs to me that his working hours, lack of sex and your acceptance all indicate communication problems . If you still think he's a nice guy, wouldn't it be worth trying to resolve them and getting back on track?