Stuck

On another thread Dukey says don''t stay married when apart.

Well I have a Nisi and a Consent Order, but for some reason that I don''t entirely understand I haven''t applied for the Absolute. Should I just get myself in gear? What are the downsides to not doing anything? We are both in our mid 60s. Would one be liable for nursing home fees for the other? Would we still get the inheritance tax break for married couples? Would one of us be able to revisit the consent order in the future?

I know this is more about psychology than money. So that is something I need to work on, but the consequences of action or inaction might help spur me on.

Hi Pixy. No advice from me but well done for getting this far! Just struck me how good that you can take a calm and considered view on things.

Well Pixy

I applied for Absolute because we had ageed on consent order then ex refused to sign it, that was eighteen months ago. I didnt want to stay married to him so I feel there was no other choice.
Maybe I have jumped the gun as finances are not settled and dont look like being as far as I can see but I am in the FMH and have no other assets so cant se him being able to get anything else from me so the ball is now in his court.

Best be aware of a few things.

The Nisi last one year.

The consent order is of no use if you remain married.

If your ex passes away you''ll have a huge can of worms on your hands, your order will dismiss inheritance claims, but with no Absolute the order is next to useless.

I can''t see a single reason to remain married when the marriage is obviously over, but there are plenty of reasons to take the last step, complete form D36 and be safe.

I''m in the process of getting my @rse in gear. What''s the fee for the d36? The guide on here says £90, the gov.uk site says £45.

I''ve had the Nisi for 3 years. Is a covering letter explaining that negotiations for a consent order and sale of FMH took ages likely to be enough for the judge?

As the original application for divorce was filed before 1 July 2013 the current fee is £45 - see List of Court Fees Ex50, Ministry of Justice website.

Pixy, chances are it will be both to pay, as you''ve had the Nisi so long you will need forms D11 and D36, the D11 is to explain why no Absolute was applied for within one year of absolute being granted.