My ex left 6 moths ago and I am now going for a divorce, I have 2 children aged 16 and 13.
My ex has a good salary and pension, I work part time and get tax credits, I am not in a position to sell the house as I can not afford an higher mortgage on my income.
My ex wants me to buy him out and I dont seem to have a choice, I can only do this if he agrees to a greatly reduced payout and then my and my childrens standard
of living will be reduced while he will be fine financialy as he is already buying a house with his new bit and I assume they will have shared living expenses.
We were married 14 years and I have done nothing wrong to him, why should me and my children suffer
Don't be bullied into making any rush desicions...
You will probably have the right to stay in the house until the kids reach 18, (or so, depending on their further education). So, sit tight for now!
The court will look at 'Needs'. Yours and the kids needs to be housed. Child support will probably be around 20% of his take-home pay. (For the two kids). Spousal support will be on top. You can use the divorce culculator here to get a better idea of what that might be, by plugging in your figures.
If he's already buying a new house: Consider this:
Firstly, his 'needs' (to be re-housed after divorce) will have already been met. So, let him go ahead and buy it! That puts you in a stronger position for staying in yours.
A financial disclosure will award a split after looking at all the assets. It may be that you are awarded a bigger slice of the house; offset against him retaining the Pension. (Your pension being in the bigger share of bricks, and you could downsize once the kids grown).
Secondly: If he does buy this new place, the equity he puts into it, will have to be declared on a form E (financial disclosure). I'm not saying that you can claim against his new house, but basically, if he's still married to you, and aquires this, or wins the lottery, that needs to be declared at the point of the disclosure).
So, you're in a good position regarding your rights to stay where you are. Don't be bullied or intimidated by his perception that he owns half!
Thanks for your reply,
My solicitor is sending the divorce papers to him this week,she said it is better to reach a financial settlement between us than going to court and that spousal maintenence and my share in his pension can be taken off his share from the house, do you no if this is right, so confused.
Agreed, that it is better to NOT go to court, I was just saying how a court would react, if it did.
There's a thread for mediation. Mediation is conducted where you and your husband talk with a 'mediator', it's a bit like couseling, small room, chat etc. Deals with issues of Finances and Children. Your solicitor will recommend your local centre for mediation.
Your sol will also negotiate between his sol. Your sol will advise what is right for you once she has his disclosre.
It all takes time! You're in good company here, have a hammer around this site, lots of people with similar problems, and similarly confused!
I think that mediation sounds the best option, why is the equity in the house not taken into consideration ?
Solicitor said we could reach agreement between ourselves and that could be poss but profesional opinion would help as I dont know what I am entitled to.
Good luck Pixie x
I don't know why the rules for legal aid are different for solicitors and mediators, only know that if you have more than 100k equity in house you won't get legal aid from sols but in mediation your income alone is looked at.
In my case (me and ex2b still in marital home) it meant I pay nothing and he pays £700.