No sorry what I meant to say is that there is a delaying tatic he can put on his pension only if it comes under the same law as HMF not quite sure what part it comes under, 16 years since I touched that side of government rules for forces, there are faint memories of getting 1/3 of it granted to you as OBE.C says a set pension for you.
Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right, and the other is a husband!!!!
Hi sorry it has taken me till now to get back to your post.
Right! It may be a long one again!
You have every right to stay in the house till your children are 18. The problem here is how do you go about paying for it? In your situation there is probably a very good reason for you not to get a Clean Break order at this present time. He cannot force you out or force you to sell. He has responsibilties, just because he has decided he wants to end your marriage, then fair enough, but he has to help you do the best for the kids. Now how you both go about that is down to you and him. The courts will not like to make the kids move to a different school or change their lives and that is the main concern, they are not interested in any way, shape or form in any conduct either party may be guilty of. So whos at fault here it doesnt matter.
Now the thing is you both have to be housed, if he moves out to wherever and he has a roof over his head then his needs are met! If he moves out and thinks he can just take his wages with him then he is sadly very mistaken! The courts will want to see both parties needs are met but the main priority are that the kids needs are met!
If everything was clear cut, say, you both earnt the same, had the same pensions, you had one child each, and there was enough money to buy you both a property then great! 50/50 split straight down the middle!
This is not so easy though when you arent equal in wages.
the trouble is property prices are at an all time high and its usually impossible to house you both to what you are both accustomed for! (who knows what the future may bring?) So at this present time its all down to the kids, they need stability and things around them that are the same and they have a comfort zone! Why should this change for them in such difficult times? It should not.
At the time of my divorce 5 years ago, my husband and i split everything 60/40 in my favour and by working 16 hours a week I got WFTC, but my mortgage was only 58k. I actually was better off for the first time in years than I was being married. I gave my ex husband 4k and asked for £60 per week for both kids and that was it! The kids and i stayed in the FMH, i took it on and my ex then had enough money to buy himself a house, all be it he had to more or less start with a 95% mortgage again, but his property in the 5 years has increased greatly in value and hes now got around 60k profit again!
Your problem is house prices have dramatically increased and wages just arent covering the amount needed to buy a new place.
My advice to you is this............
You will get spousal maintenance,(think the courts expect you to retrain or get a job part time) you will get child support (think its 25% of his income for kids) you will get benefits if you work so many hours ( you need to find out how much)and you are entitled to 50% of his 14 years of pension. So for him to think he can force a sale and walk away is nonsense. Do not allow him to bully you.
You need to seek advice from a Solicitor or try CAb for now. You both need to sit down and try and sort some arrangement out between yourselves before you start paying big chunks of any money you both may have fighting each other for what you both feel is right! Whats right in all this is the Kids and they should not have to suffer anymore than they already are. How you go about doing this is down to you and your husband.
I wish you well, and any questions you have just post someone will always get back to you.
The main thing is if you feel its not right and its going to upset the kids then dont be bullied into something without knowing the facts first. Ask and ask
away most of us on here have either been there and done it or going through the same as you.