Offer Made......

Hi,

Having now agreed to a divorce, I am wary of spending thousands on a Solicitor, as i feel my ex is.

He has made me an offer, which I know is way below what i would be legally entitled to, but it would mean I could walk away from a bad marriage without any further arguments infront of the children.

Although this offer keeps on dropping on daily basis, and he doesnt seem to be able to put anything firmly in place! I know if i go back to my Solicitor and get her to take over it will turn VERY nasty and could be 12 months or more before anything gets settled.

He has threatened on many ocassions that if I even try to get more money he will run up massive debts in joint names and leave the country, thus leaving me with all the debt, any interest he has, i.e. property he will give away to charity or friends??!

How do I leave this, afraid to chase what I am legally entitled to, to ensure the children have a secure future, in the knowledge of how violent his moods are. Or, should i just leave with a very small amount of money to enable a deposit to be put on a house and be able to retain some degree of sanity??????

Any help would be gratefully appreciated....

Have you petitioned for divorce?
Is he still living at home?

Dear Violet,

I will not offer detailed advice, but it is clear to me you are being intimidated and the intimidation seems to be succeeding. Your husband's behaviour is intolerable.

Surely you can consult your solicitor for advice without your husband being aware of it ?

If he is violent or abusive, then have you thought of trying a Womens' Aid organisation ? They have a lot of experience at dealing with situations like yours. You aren't the first in this position,, and regrettably you won't be the last.

In principle there is little doubt that a violent or abusive husband can be ordered out of the house very quickly. I am pretty sure that, if a Court suspects your husband is going to attempt to dispose of assets to defeat any claims you may have, they can freeze the assets You must check this with your lawyer but I don't think I'm wrong. Courts have a whole arsenal of powers at their disposal. Your husband isn't the first to use tactics like this.

I know the dangers potentially involved in taking action against a violent husband, and that's why I recommend Womens Aid. They deal with cases like yours all the time and have networking arrangements with other agencies who can help.

With every good wish
Mike

Hi Violet,

please don't be intimidated! I have had a difficult time too and went to women's aid please call them. They have heard it all and have a very good understanding of men like these. I am on legal aid but through the womens aid I found a very good solicitor who has moved things along for me and has been able to send appropriate letters to his solicitor. These men are used to being bullies but really they are afraid of losing control and it scares them so they try even harder to intimidate. I have had a very good experience with the womens aid and they can direct you to others who can support you.
Believe me my children said how much better it is without their dad around, although they do miss him.
Hope this helps you.

Thank you for your support. I have had counselling in the past with it being recommended that I phone Women's Aid to seek support with him.