Solicitors advice

I finally approached STBX with solicitors advice re divorce and up to that point it had all been amicable. He doesn't agree with 'unreasonable behaviour' going on the divorce papers (even though he cheated and i stayed with him for just over 2 years to try and make it work) but written so no-one is to blame, doesn't agree with suggestions about the house (house gets signed over to boys once youngest is 18 but with a clause saying i can live in the house till my death and recieve some of his pension, etc OR he signs house over to me and i leave it or whatever property I'm in to boys in my will and denounce my rights to his pension etc).
He is now going to get his own advice and "let me know". He wants to wait the 2 years seperation so he escapes blame but i don't want to wait. I've waited long enough!!
Will his solicitor tell him the same advice thereabouts and can he use a different solicitor at my solicitors office?
So angry and upset with him over this? He done wrong, not me.

The sooner you get over "blame/fault" the quicker it will move on to a resolution

(at no point do you mention anything about his housing situation and housing your children whilst with him?)

Hi
No one can offer advice regarding the suggestions you have put forward regarding the house without knowing the whole picture. You need to consider that he will need to have somewhere to live and it will need to be big enough to allow him to have the children overnight. Something I should emphasise is that the financial settlement is 'no fault' it is not used to right wrongs etc.
Waiting 2 years avoids any blame as such you both agree you have been apart for 2 years and that is pretty much it. If you want something sooner Unreasonable Behaviour is the route to go down. but if he is minded too, and wants to waste time and money he could contest this. Would an option be for him to divorce you on grounds of UB? A bitter pill I know, but you have to think of the end result.

Lb

When you petition for divorce you have to pay the £550 fee.
As my useless ex couldn’t do anything, I petitioned UB and paid the fee. He was well hacked off at my true reasons and threatened to cross petition.
This never occurred, as it’s pointless, and he put in something along the lines of he did not agree with reasons, but consented to divorce.
This is just your first hurdle!
Stay on the top, get your advice as to what is reasonable/ suits all of your needs.
To apply to court for a financial settlement is pay another £255.
This is a long drawn out process, but it will have an end.
I understand that it’s not your fault your marriage is ending, but that doesn’t matter in this process.
Just fight your corner as best you can. Keep as much money in accounts in your name only, you will need this for the legal costs.
Stay put in the house, take care of yourself and your children.
Good luck, it all ends eventually x

UPDATE:STBX and his solicitor aren't keen on UB as it could be "predjudicial to my future" , his solicitor said it would be cheaper and easier to wait the 2 years for seperation too. Although which solictor would say this to pass up making money, I don't know.
He's also not keen on me having both the house and access to his pension and I "can have one or the other,not both". I have to say that I have never wanted both and told him that on several occassions.
I am happy for the house to be signed over to the boys when youngest turns 18 next year (oldest is 22) and have my share of his pension. I would be allowed to live in the house till my death but until the boys are financially able, I still have to run the house and pay the bills. Something, he doesn't seem to grasp. He is delaying things so that the 2 years creeps up but denies this of course!
He's also decided that he may work part-time up to his retirement due to his long term health problems and would therefore need his money to live on. He earns 5 times more than me every month and has a good retirement package in place from the company he works for.
Everything, my solicitor has said, he, and his solicitor, have poo-pooed. Feel like just giving in and waiting the 2 years and give in to STBX but I want to move on. If I find another partner, STBX can divorce me for adultery in that time, IF he can prove it. Why should I risk that? I'm done and don't really know what to do?

I wonder if you waited the 2 years if some other way of delaying the divorce might occur, until you have the nisi the finances can't be finalised is it this he wants to delay maybe as the grounds for divorce make no difference to the cost or to the financial settlement.
Do you think stbx would divorce you for adultery should it occur? it would move things along if he did and as long as you sign to agree that it happened he doesn't have to provide any proof and it doesn't have any effect on the division of assets. Your boys won't be taken into account once they are both 18 and making the house over to them won't affect things either the marital home along with the pension is part of the pot it can't just be given away.

You could suggest that you are keen for BOTH of you to be able to move on with your lives and aware the process could be lengthy, so offer to amend the wording to something he can agree to. IT DOES NOT MATTER WHAT IT SAYS, just get the job done. Nobody need know, it's just a nonsense: if one of you wants a divorce, then the marriage has broken down, and the reasons are irrelevant. Let him have whatever he wants on the form, don't worry about blame or how it looks. Keep your eye on the prize.