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They are engaged, financially what does this mean?

  • deve
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22 Oct 07 #5083 by deve
Topic started by deve
So OK, just a basic outline, you will realise it is not very basic, LOL:

After knowing the woman for just 12 days he moved out three months ago to live with her (10 years my senior too). Today, 3 months to the day they got engaged. I'm unsure how this works in theory as I haven't even received the divorce petition back from the courts yet!

We have been together 12 years, still only in our twenties, lived together 7 years, married for 2.5 years, have had a baby after many IVF attempts of 7 months of age. He said that I could have all the equity in the house of £47k after I sell and keep my car £12k, he keeps his rental property which now has only £15k.

Since he has left I found out that he had drawn down money from our mortgage on its borrow back facility of £16k in 6 months so our equity should have been at least £63k and have £20k in the rental property, but he took payment holidays on that too, both mortgages incur a £5k early redemption penalty. My parents gave us our first property before we were married with £55k equity already in it, I got a mortgage out solely in my name on this property for £120k and it was sold for £175k before we bought our then-to-be marital home, I can prove with the conveyancer that I had brought this £55k into our marriage from my first flat even though we were living together at the time the mortgage was mine.

His girlfriend paid me £10k to keep me off their backs for 6 months while they plan their new life abroad, my ex2b has no money as he had business debts, our outgoings are £1600 per month so this money is helping at the moment. I should be returning to work after a years maternity leave in Feb08, but I could not possibly do part time now I am on my own and my little girl is my number one priority. I do want to go back but my boss will be expecting at least 4 days per week, so I will have a rethink about my work situation once I get settled in a smaller home.

I have had the house on the market for 2 months, sold twice but lost the buyers twice too! I want a small mortgage and need to know that all the equity I have left will go into my new home without the threat of him trying to get at it and pay his debtors with it. Even though he has unsecured loans I worry his debtors will put charges on my property claiming their interest in his portion of my equity. I know he is planning to live in Spain and not pay his loans back home and also to evade child maintenance. He is not working now and the csa can't chase him in Spain. His new fiancé is supporting him entirely financially and he lives in her home.

My question is, now they plan to marry, what does this mean to my divorce proceedings? Does it affect my final settlement the fact that she has paid me the 10k money and not from him, it would be obvious to a court that he didn’t pay it to me as he has no money, no contracts were signed or receipts given…she just wrote me a cheque. I can prove that they live together and have now got engaged and are planning a new life in Spain setting up a new business in the new year? As it is obvious that the UK courts cannot chase him for maintenance will they grant me the whole house seeing that I need to look at the welfare of my child as priority? Also I know he plans to try and take me for half of it behind my back despite saying he wouldn't. Will his plans to move out of the country do him any favours in court?

He has put the rental property on the market behind my back this week and asked for a for-sale sign not to be put up so that I will not see it, can he do this without my prior knowledge? I was thinking of putting a caution/unilateral notice on the property even though it is solely in his name to stop him selling it.

He has also told everybody that our daughter was donor conceived (which she was) and has sent everyone in our familty texts to say that he never wants to see me or her again. If this is the case, then should I be taking him to court to ensure we have sufficient funds to start again on our own preparing for the worst? As I can prove that he has drawn down money on our joint mortgage, signed and forged my signatures on numerous occasions to our lender and made phone calls to our mortgage company on my behalf to falsely obtain funds. Initially we agreed that the £10k already paid to me by his gf would cover the bills until I sold the house, but then he pay me 5k in Feb08 to cover some of the stolen money, then another £7k in Aug08 to cover some more of the stolen amounts....I now know this was to keep me off their scent for 6 months …….he has no intentions of paying now as he is borrowing more money now to set up his new business in Spain. Do I have to take him to court separately from the divorce to have him done for fraud? or will he argue that he is not working and cannot pay me back the 16k taken?

Lastly, how does the fact that he has lived with his new gf for 3 months and are planning to marry affect our divorce? She works and owns her home, but she des not ask for any contribution to its up keep from him at all. He stays at home all day doing DIY on her property ready for sale......do her finances get taken into consideration in my settlement as he has lesser of a requirement to set up a new home than I do?

Sorry that wasn't so quick was it!

Many thanks,

Deve x

  • Fiona
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22 Oct 07 #5090 by Fiona
Reply from Fiona
When the NRP lives abroad courts have jurisdiction over child maintenance and there are reciprocal arrangements for enforcing maintenance orders in many countries, including Spain. Unfortunately though you can't get blood from a stone when there is no income .

The g/f's/new wife's finances only come into the equation because his living costs are shared, supposedly increasing his ability to pay maintenance and decreasing his need of capital.

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