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Will I ever get the answer, grrrrrr

  • HelpforHeroes
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4 months 2 weeks ago #511804 by HelpforHeroes
Will I ever get the answer, grrrrrr was created by HelpforHeroes
I've filed for divorce on-line with a decree nisi application going to court next month.

I've made repeated attempts (I've been separated for 6 years) to get the true asset figures from my ex-husband with no luck.

Ex has made a verbal offer to pay me a one off lump sum in 3 years (which does tie into a financial plan I'm tied into to & my earliest pensionable date)with maintenance paid until then, but I still have no way of knowing if it's a fair offer.

If the decree nisi is granted is this the best time to stop proceedings until a legally binding financial agreement can be reached, he is keen to be divorced by May, (reason unknown), as after so long I can't see the end of this, I think being worn into agreement is the plan. If I don't get an agreement before decree [url=Glossary/General/Absolute.html ]absolute[/url] this is still possible at a later date isn't it?

I moved into a small rented cottage with 2 children, he stayed in the 4 bed house, and is in line for a large pension. I will also have a pension but much smaller, he is due to retire as a Police Supt in 2 years. The pension CETV he's given is from when we separated, he doesn't consider the last 6 years relevant and if my needs can be met without those years so be it.

I also lost my dad in Sept and my mum is alone in the house, which may of course be needed for care fees in time, and I also have a brother to share any inheritance with, but I think my ex considers that's the obvious route, I'll live with mum and I'm not having a house out of him - his words. Of course I'll look after my mum, but it doesn't feel as though that should be my only option for housing.

I've always covered most of the childcare and work full-time. We were married 12 years, together 15 in total. The boys are now 15 and 10, the youngest shares with me,the oldest is studying for GCSE's, he has them about once a week. I have no money for holidays, presents, replacing any broken items, ex does also buy most of their clothes, and travels a lot (some for work).

Could the Financial Settlement service on this site give me an answer based on estimated figures?

I feel very stuck :S

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