A well respected, award winning social enterprise
Volunteer run - Government and charity funded
We help 50,000 people a year through divorce

01202 805020

Lines open: Monday to Friday 9am-5pm
Call for FREE expert advice & service info

What are we each entitled to in our divorce settlement?

What does the law say about how to split the house, how to share pensions and other assets, and how much maintenance is payable.

What steps can we take to reach a fair agreement?

The four basic steps to reaching an agreement on divorce finances are: disclosure, getting advice, negotiating and implementing a Consent Order.

What is a Consent Order and why do we need one?

A Consent Order is a legally binding document that finalises a divorcing couple's agreement on property, pensions and other assets.

Do you need help sorting out a fair financial settlement?

Our consultant service offers expert advice and support to help you reach agreement on a fair financial settlement quickly, and for less than a quarter of the cost of using a traditional high street solicitor.

Scared beyond words

  • Maggiemay123
  • Maggiemay123's Avatar Posted by
  • Junior Member
  • Junior Member
18 Apr 20 #512165 by Maggiemay123
Topic started by Maggiemay123
Hey all..

Just been notified by the courts that the FDR will be undertaken via the telephone. On a positive it means that I won’t have to face the ex... there was and is on going domestic abuse so this helps greatly.

That said .. will I be hindered in any way? Are remote hearings working ok.?

I am considering submitting an offer as I know I’m going to be bombarded on the day... would really appreciate some help.. if possible and I am begging right now ... sorry!

FMH sold - 90,000 with solicitors

I’m staying with my partner .. bless him but it’s not long term I need to make it on my own.

I’m 45 .. he’s 49 or 50

One child together .. lives with me but his dad increases contact nearer to court hearings. Although since coved he has had him over night due to covid stating he doesn’t want his girlfriend will catch it ... although they don’t live together ...

His pension is 250,000 mine is 30k

Been together since 2001 .. our son was born in 2002. My daughter is now to old to be included in the proceedings.

He’s take a low paid job of 42,000 previously and 60k plus

I earn £18,000

Son is in college at least for the next two years.

I desperately want to buy my own home ... even if it’s a mobile home.

He’s renting a 3 bed home. Although he pretty much lives with his partner

More recently he had been sending my son porn to include beastiality ... it’s made me so Ill ... it just never end.

I’d like to put an offer in prior to FDR ...

I would be eternally grateful for any advise ... there is a 20000 loan he forces me to sign ... at this time my wages were paid into his account and had been for many years

Please help if you can

  • hadenoughnow
  • hadenoughnow's Avatar
  • Moderator
  • Moderator
19 Apr 20 #512168 by hadenoughnow
Reply from hadenoughnow
If the hearing is FDR you will both need to prepare an offer as the basis for negotiations. This should be in the order from first hearing.

Are the court aware of the DV? Is your ex represented? You should make the judge aware of the DV and request you are not required to discuss finances with him directly.

You can prepare a position statement if you are worried about speaking.

How much would a suitable property cost to buy? You can offset equity against pension but given his earning capacity and the size of the pension I would still expect you to have a share of it.

It is a good idea to take legal advice before making an offer (and always leave some negotiation points in). You might want to look at the fixed price legal fin consultation we offer. Give the helpline a call.


Moderators: wikivorce teamrubytuesdaydukeyhadenoughnowTetsSheziLinda SheridanForsetiMitchumWhiteRoseLostboy67WYSPECIALBubblegum11