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Joint Expenses Payment

  • Hurk
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1 month 2 weeks ago #512605 by Hurk
Joint Expenses Payment was created by Hurk
Hi, this is my first post so I do aplogise.

I am currently going through divorce but still living with my partner in the same house (jointly owned). From November 2019, she has not made a single contribution to any joint expenses such as mortgate, kids, bills etc. I am the main earner but she is a freelance worker too. Her view is that she will not make a single contribution.

Has anyone experienced this and is there any advice on this matter?

I am under more and more pressure as having to use my savings to maintain these payments.

Thank you

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  • hadenoughnow
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1 month 2 weeks ago #512658 by hadenoughnow
Replied by hadenoughnow on topic Joint Expenses Payment
Welcome to Wikivorce but sorry you find yourself here.

What stage have you reached with the divorce? What steps have you taken towards sorting out financial settlement??

Do you still have a joint account? Can she access that?

Does the household get child benefit? You could have that paid to you.

She may be trying to save up to pay legal fees? Do you know if she has explored her entitlement to universal credit? She will be expected to maximise her income.

Ultimately the only way to resolve this is going to be through a legally binding financial settlement and the sooner, the better.

How that looks will depend on a range of factors. If you can answer the following we can give some guidance.

Ages
Incomes Inc benefits.
Length of marriage plus cohabitation
Children - ages, genders and arrangements for them
Market value of former matrimonial home (FMH)
Outstanding mortgage
Size of FMH
Pensions - type and CEV
Value of other assets in sole or joint names
Debts/loans in sole or joint names
Any other factors such as disability, inheritance etc that may need to be considered.

Hadenoughnow

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  • Hurk
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1 month 2 weeks ago #512660 by Hurk
Replied by Hurk on topic Joint Expenses Payment
Hi. Thank you for the response.

We have the decree nisi with the divorce.

We have had a single session with mediation. This was one to one before going in jointly. She now refuses to do this and wants to go down a solicitor.

Yes we have a joint account and joint credit card of which I am main account holder. I have tried to retain the status quo until everything has been finalised. Not sure if I am doing the right or wrong thing here. She can access these accounts yes. The joint account is where all the house and children bills are being taken from and this is where I deposit money each month (once I have been paid).

No child benefit.

We both a single savings accounts which I had split whilst we are together so that was fair and there is in excess of £50k in each of these. So. She is not short of money as such.

Ages I am 42 she is 40
Income 85k mine and hers is approx 30k
Length of Marriage is 12 years and we have lived together for 16 years.
Children 5(m) and 9(f). No arrangements have been made but I want them at least 2 nights a week and she probably wants to limit to the minimum I.e one day

Market value is £1m but I reckon in current climate may have changed this.
Outstanding mortgage is £200k
4 bed house

I have approx £11k pension
Hers is approx £2k

No other assets other than she has a car worth approx £6k and my car is leased at £300 per month. I am treating these as joint expenses as we are using this for the kids etc- again not sure if I am doing the right thing.

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  • WYSPECIAL
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1 month 2 weeks ago #512663 by WYSPECIAL
Replied by WYSPECIAL on topic Joint Expenses Payment
Probably a good idea to close joint account and get her off your credit card or you could end up with some large debts.

On £30k she could get CB. With decree nisi in place your clearly no longer a couple for claiming it.

How much are you talking about for the household bills?

Have you worked out how much child maintenance will be will be?

Has there been any talk of spousal maintenance claims?

If you know what you will be paying out in the future it may change your view on what you are paying for now in the short term. If you close the joint accounts it will also mean that you have control of what is spent. If she wants to spend extra on the children or herself she clearly has the money to do so.

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  • Hurk
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1 month 1 week ago #512671 by Hurk
Replied by Hurk on topic Joint Expenses Payment
Well i can't close off the joint account because all our bills are paid from here - How would i manage these otherwise? Also, if i remove her from credit card how will she spend on the joint account (for example if she needed to do shopping for the household?)

The household bills if you include mortage etc are approximately £2.5

Child maintenance will be a maximum of £1000.

She has suggested spousal maintenance but no figures have been discussed.

I didn't understand the point on future and current points of view. Appreciate if you could explain further.

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1 month 1 week ago #512677 by WYSPECIAL
Replied by WYSPECIAL on topic Joint Expenses Payment

Hurk wrote: Well i can't close off the joint account because all our bills are paid from here - How would i manage these otherwise?


Presumably you have your own bank account in your sole name that your salary is paid into? Get them all transferred to there and close/freeze the joint account. If you don't have your own bank account get one ASAP.

Also, if i remove her from credit card how will she spend on the joint account (for example if she needed to do shopping for the household?)


You're no longer a household, you are just temporarily living in the same building. If she needs to buy items for her own use, food etc, things she wants to get the children then she has her own income of £30k pa plus savings she can use to do this. Whilst living in a house that is being fully paid for by you then she is easily going to be able to afford to do so. As it stands she is perfectly within her rights to spend up to the credit limit on the credit card and withdraw cash up to the overdraft limit in the joint account. You will be liable for that money.

The household bills if you include mortgage etc are approximately £2.5


Your take home on a salary of £85k must be about £4.5k per month? Therefore you can easily afford this without having to access savings. In fact if her gross income is £30k you will still have more disposable income to spend as you choose even with her contributing nothing.

Child maintenance will be a maximum of £1000.

She has suggested spousal maintenance but no figures have been discussed.

I didn't understand the point on future and current points of view. Appreciate if you could explain further.


As it stands you feel aggrieved that you are contributing £2.5k towards living costs and she is contributing nothing.. Going forwards your living costs are unlikely to be much under £1.5k per month? Then you'll be paying at least £1k towards hers so you'll be in pretty much the same boat. The point is pick your battles. This is a short term situation whist finances are sorted and you move on to living in two separate houses. Concentrate on getting everything sorted as quickly, and cheaply, as possible.

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  • Hurk
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1 month 1 week ago #512682 by Hurk
Replied by Hurk on topic Joint Expenses Payment
That is useful advice really appreciate it.

Yes I have my own account but I was thinking that by having the bills in joint account she then has visibility of these expenses too. If I pulled them over to my account what do I gain by this? I would need her consent to also close/freeze the joint account.

Completely understand about the credit card and I will cancel that.

What I didn’t mention regarding expenses was that the costs are lower due to current circumstances other bills are approx £3.5k per month. In addition private school fees are ok the region of £2k per month but paid every term. Sorry I wasn’t very clear on these two points

I have calculated my future living costs to be approximately £3.5k which includes £1k child maintenance but does not include any items such as holidays/presents etc

I feel bullied rather than aggrieved that she is not making any payments.

She also wants to keep the house and buy me out.

Appreciate your comments though they are helpful.

I want to be fair on the situation but also firm if you appreciate my point of view

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