A well respected, award winning social enterprise
Volunteer run - Government and charity funded
We help 50,000 people a year through divorce

01202 805020

Mon/Fri 9am-6pm       Sat/Sun 2pm-6pm
Call for FREE expert advice & service info

What are we each entitled to in our divorce settlement?

What does the law say about how to split the house, how to share pensions and other assets, and how much maintenance is payable.

What steps can we take to reach a fair agreement?

The four basic steps to reaching an agreement on divorce finances are: disclosure, getting advice, negotiating and implementing a Consent Order.

What is a Consent Order and why do we need one?

A Consent Order is a legally binding document that finalises a divorcing couple's agreement on property, pensions and other assets.

Do you need help sorting out a fair financial settlement?

Our consultant service offers expert advice and support to help you reach agreement on a fair financial settlement quickly, and for less than a quarter of the cost of using a traditional high street solicitor.

Keeping house in divorce after leaving it because of domestic abuse.

  • Mummy83
  • Mummy83's Avatar Posted by
  • Premium Member
  • Premium Member
17 Jul 20 #513311 by Mummy83
Topic started by Mummy83
So I fled from the family home in Feb 2019 because of abuse. I was in shock for a long time which later turned into PTSD.
I tired to reason with my husband whilst the divorce was being settled ( he has dragged it out for 2 years now), so that I could return with our child. I moved in with my mum and child, he has had no contact since December and still not made an application. He hated me so refused to move out, installed cctv and threatened me if I tried to return. Which just triggered my PTSD. I have this on text messages. He said if I brought in lawyers he would make me suffer. His actions worked because I was too unwell to do anything....

Cut forward to today. I filed my financial proceedings application and we have the first hearing in Sept. I really want to return home as living with my mum who has M.S is hard. She needs peace and quiet, me and my 4 year old can’t do that. I can’t afford to buy another house so really wanted to try and move back. I can afford yo take over the house and all bills.

Do you think that given I’ve been out of the family home for so long will it go against me? It all seems so very unfair, I really didn’t want to leave my home but he threatened my life and then I’ve just been in complete shock from my 12 year long very abusive marriage. I had to leave because I was loosing grip on me mental state.

  • hadenoughnow
  • hadenoughnow's Avatar
  • Moderator
  • Moderator
17 Jul 20 #513314 by hadenoughnow
Reply from hadenoughnow
Financial settlement on divorce is based on needs first. It is not necessarily about either of you having the former matrimonial home. It may well have to be sold especially if it is too large/expensive. With one child your strict need (as his) is a two bed property.

Conduct rarely has a bearing on financial settlement unless there is a clear link between matters of conduct and financial impact i.e.if conduct by one party has impacted the other's ability to work and earn.

Is the house in sole or joint names ?

We would need to know a lot more about your circumstances to be able to advise on a fair settlement.

Incomes inc benefits
Length of marriage plus cohabitation
Children ages and arrangements for them.
Value of Former matrimonial home
Outstanding mortgage
Size of FMH
Pensions type and CEV
Value of other assets in sole or joint names.
Debts/loans in sole or joint names.

You may be interested to know that among the various services we offer there is one that provides cost effective help and support to litigants in person, including assistance with the paperwork. If you think this may be useful, give the helpline a call.


  • Mummy83
  • Mummy83's Avatar Posted by
  • Premium Member
  • Premium Member
17 Jul 20 #513315 by Mummy83
Reply from Mummy83
Ages: Me 37, Him 42, Daughter 4.

Income (before lockdown): Me £600+£500 UC + £160 CM per month.
Him: about £,3000/£3,500 Per month.

Married in July 2008 and filed for divorce Sept 2018.

Left the house in Feb 2019, he threatened to rip off my finger to get my rings back and pushed me out the house and told me if I came back he’d do something we’d both regret.

One daughter aged 4. He has had no contact since December due to welfare and safety concerns. He has threatened to make an application to court but has yet to do so.

House worth around £220,000
Mortgage £56,000
Small 3 bed converted bungalow

His pension around £15,000 and mine is very small, around £500.

He has sent a lot of money abroad, home to his mum towards her home.

I have managed to save around £6,000. I have a debt of £2,500 due to dental work after leaving, due to severe stress.

I don’t know what he has, he has probably and it home. When I left he had around £30,000. I left and took no money as I was threatened not to touch it. He also has my wedding rings, around £6,000.

I’m currently with my mum. I was diagnosed after leaving him with PTSD and Chronic Fatigue Syndrome because of the constant stress he put me under. I work 16 hours but I struggle with that.

  • Mummy83
  • Mummy83's Avatar Posted by
  • Premium Member
  • Premium Member
17 Jul 20 #513316 by Mummy83
Reply from Mummy83
I was scared out of my house. He put up cameras and cctv a few months after I left. He threatened to make me suffer if I brought in lawyers. I have this all in msgs. I realise now it was all coercive control. I also understand that courts don’t really take any of this into account even though it’s something I will live with forever and he controlled my actions to get what he wanted. I’ve had a lot of emails from him asking me not to take this to court but I’m not backing down.

Moderators: wikivorce teamrubytuesdaydukeyhadenoughnowTetsSheziLinda SheridanForsetiMitchumWhiteRoseLostboy67WYSPECIALBubblegum11