So I fled from the family home in Feb 2019 because of abuse. I was in shock for a long time which later turned into PTSD.
I tired to reason with my husband whilst the divorce was being settled ( he has dragged it out for 2 years now), so that I could return with our child. I moved in with my mum and child, he has had no contact since December and still not made an application. He hated me so refused to move out, installed cctv and threatened me if I tried to return. Which just triggered my PTSD. I have this on text messages. He said if I brought in lawyers he would make me suffer. His actions worked because I was too unwell to do anything....
Cut forward to today. I filed my financial proceedings application and we have the first hearing in Sept. I really want to return home as living with my mum who has M.S is hard. She needs peace and quiet, me and my 4 year old can’t do that. I can’t afford to buy another house so really wanted to try and move back. I can afford yo take over the house and all bills.
Do you think that given I’ve been out of the family home for so long will it go against me? It all seems so very unfair, I really didn’t want to leave my home but he threatened my life and then I’ve just been in complete shock from my 12 year long very abusive marriage. I had to leave because I was loosing grip on me mental state.
Financial settlement on divorce is based on needs first. It is not necessarily about either of you having the former matrimonial home. It may well have to be sold especially if it is too large/expensive. With one child your strict need (as his) is a two bed property.
Conduct rarely has a bearing on financial settlement unless there is a clear link between matters of conduct and financial impact i.e.if conduct by one party has impacted the other's ability to work and earn.
Is the house in sole or joint names ?
We would need to know a lot more about your circumstances to be able to advise on a fair settlement.
Incomes inc benefits
Length of marriage plus cohabitation
Children ages and arrangements for them.
Value of Former matrimonial home
Size of FMH
Pensions type and CEV
Value of other assets in sole or joint names.
Debts/loans in sole or joint names.
You may be interested to know that among the various services we offer there is one that provides cost effective help and support to litigants in person, including assistance with the paperwork. If you think this may be useful, give the helpline a call.
I was scared out of my house. He put up cameras and cctv a few months after I left. He threatened to make me suffer if I brought in lawyers. I have this all in msgs. I realise now it was all coercive control. I also understand that courts don’t really take any of this into account even though it’s something I will live with forever and he controlled my actions to get what he wanted. I’ve had a lot of emails from him asking me not to take this to court but I’m not backing down.