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New Help to reach Fair Settlement

  • frustrated2020
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12 Oct 20 #514420 by frustrated2020
Topic started by frustrated2020
Seperated in mid 2018
Nisi applied for

She is 41, as am I. We have 1 child under the age of 18 (9 years old) and 2 older at uni so I guess they wont be included in any settlement. Married 20 years

She is living in the marital home. I am paying the mortgage (interest only). Mortgage in my sole name, as are the deeds. (400 per month mortgage)

She earns about 25k. I recently lost my full time job and now part time earning about £13k. I have debts of about £18000 (loan and cards). She has debts of approx £13000. Main issue in marriage was her financial conduct. Secret credit cards, spending more than we could afford etc. I am sure I will secure a job soon and earn about the same as her within the next couple of months, fingers crossed.

I am living in between my parents, girlfriends and best friends house, sleeping on the sofa a couple nights a week at each place. I want her to pay the mortgage, sell when youngest is 18 and split equity 50/50. I also have a new baby with my current partner but we are not yet living together as I cannot afford to contribute to the living expenses in her house.

I gave voluntary disclosure beginning of the year. Her solicitor gave half of the info. With held pension and still hasn't provided it. The income needs were just mixed with monthly and yearly out of thin air type expenses. Just made up pretty much. Solicitor doesnt respond to any emails from me.

Is it fair me asking her to pay the mortgage (interest only) whilst she lives in the house with our child? I cannot afford it on my part time salary. I also cant see her getting a mortgage on her salary. Equality is about 200k. Value about 475k.

What would be considered fair? They havent even made any type of offer or proposal. They are happy to stay like this with me paying the mortgage. She refused mediation unless I paid both sides. Talks between us were pointless as all she said is I cant afford the mortgage.

Really stressed and want this finished so I can move on and enjoy the new life I am slowly building up again.

Any help or suggestions welcome

  • WYSPECIAL's Avatar
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13 Oct 20 #514421 by WYSPECIAL
Reply from WYSPECIAL
She won’t be in any rush while you pay the mortgage.

Given you job loss have you looked into a payment holiday?

Where are you up to in the divorce process?

  • frustrated2020
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13 Oct 20 #514422 by frustrated2020
Reply from frustrated2020
I had the 6 month payment holiday due to pandemic. I will try speak to them this week to see if they can assist more

We had the Decree Nisi i think about January this year. I was the respondent.

I am thinking of just emailing her the proposal and hopefully get the ball rolling with starting negotiations. Chances are she will just ignore it though.

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