I am divorcing my wife due to her unreasonable behaviour, which has been exacerbated by the pandemic. We have two children, aged 11 and 8. We have agreed joint custody (50/50) of the children.
I earn just under £50k, but have taken on all the debts (cost of extension to the house etc.), which has really hit my credit rating. She is self employed, but definitely has scope to work more hours. The nature of this self employment means that she is never going to earn a huge amount, but she loves doing it- it is her passion. It takes up a lot of her time, but not all of that time is paid. The children go to childcare after school and a cleaner comes to the house on a regular basis.
Our relationship has always been that I get the kids dressed and fed in the mornings, she takes them to school and picks them up, although I have negotiated with work so that I can pick them up once a week as it really means a lot to me to do so. I also cook most of the family meals. I would classify us as both primary carers.
We have agreed that I will pay no maintenance to her. As we will share custody 50/50, we have agreed that there will be no need for child support, though I recognise that after a year this is seperate from any Consent Order and falls under the control of the CSA and I am more than prepared to pay some money to her to ensure that our children do not suffer in any way. They are the priority. We have agreed a rough 60%-40% spilt in the equity of our house, to enable us both to get a mortgage afterwards. She has a low value private pension. I have a high value final salary pension. I have agreed to give her a percentage of my final salary pension that would equate to the 40% of the equity in the house. In effect, she would keep the equity in the house and her pension, I would keep my final salary pension- but we are 'offsetting' the costs by swapping the same amounts over to each other from the two pots. She really does need a higher value pension as she hasn't paid in a lot at all over the years. I need equity for a mortgage.
The calculator on here really concerns me, as I would be reduced to poverty and my wife would be granted virtually everything, despite 50/50 custody.
We have both agreed to this and I am now concerned that it would be thrown out by a judge when it comes to a Consent Order. Does anyone have any experience of this?
Last edit: 12 Mar 21 by Jome74. Reason: Spelling mistake and clarification
Not enough details but yes on the face of it there is a chance it would be thrown out unless there was sufficient supporting evidence.
You don't mention ages, or her income/benefits and any other details regards equity etc.
Ultimately with children that age their needs come top of the pile. You both need to be adequately housed if you are splitting their time 50/50 so that will determine who the house equity can be split to enable you both a chance to be housed/mortgaged. Then there will be your living costs and how you both manage those to ensure each house is able to give the kids an equal standard where possible.
Then finally you would consider later life provision i.e, pensions. the further away from pension age you are the longer each of you has to accumulate or save into one but also it's still an asset though may not be treated as a pound for pound equivalent to the equity in your house but instead about calculating how you could both achieve a suitable income in retirement
Have you approached a solicitor for an initial appointment to discuss the basics of your circumstances and understand what might stick in a Consent Order?