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What are we each entitled to in our divorce settlement?

What does the law say about how to split the house, how to share pensions and other assets, and how much maintenance is payable.

What steps can we take to reach a fair agreement?

The four basic steps to reaching an agreement on divorce finances are: disclosure, getting advice, negotiating and implementing a Consent Order.

What is a Consent Order and why do we need one?

A Consent Order is a legally binding document that finalises a divorcing couple's agreement on property, pensions and other assets.


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25 Oct 07 #5260 by duncan McEnzie
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Sorry if i dont seem a great listener at the moment its just that house will be gone soon as we can no longer afford it. Instead of coming to kids with me and reassuring them, she tells them i want them out and they are all going to have to live in a hostel. I have slept on sofas and blow up beds since last november. I know we cant afford to keep the house but it just doesnt feel right. I have my faults but was allways a good provider. Shes playing mind games over this and as much as i resist i cant help but be affected by it. I worry about my kids and worry what they will think of me. They seem ok but i feel they may have gone a little quiet lately

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25 Oct 07 #5266 by gone1
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This is normal divorce stuff as well. I didnt lose my kids the same way but all the sh1t she told them coulnt have helped. Still she has her house now and her evil kids and a bit of rough. Do I care? Yes and no. C

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25 Oct 07 #5267 by duncan McEnzie
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thanks for listening. This helps. She has made me out to be a crank and i feel like i reinforce this when i defend myself.You say she has her evil kids, are they your kids too.

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25 Oct 07 #5268 by gone1
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Mate. Some women (careful now Chris) will make something of everything you say. Its all part of the game thats played to dispose of you and make sure that the kids hate you and they wont want you. This is the evil side of divorce. No they were not my flesh and blood and I brought them up from babies. It hurt at first but I am getting over it. Its a year next month. Thats the thing with step kids. There not your flesh and blood they are not realy yours. When you split up with the mother (or in my case ditched for a bit of rough) then the kids are wrenched away. Step dads have no rights. Thats life mate. Suck it up. :)Chris.

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25 Oct 07 #5270 by duncan McEnzie
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My eldest who is 22 is a stepchild and thinks im the antichrist. I too brought her up from a 1 year old baby so i can sympathise. In retrospect i think my wife started turning her when we were still together and as awful as it seems think she involved her in some if not all of what she was up to. I just keep texting my stepchild to tell her how much i love her but all i get back is bile. I have to tell myself that it is not her fault as she has been involved in stuff a child should never be involved in. Even if she was asking to be involved she shouldnt have been allowed. If you brought your stepchildren up well they will eventually come around. It feels like mine never will but i have to carry on telling her i love her and hope that in the end those 21 years counted for something. I have told her i will never give up on her. It must be more difficult for you because they are all stepchildren. If you try to be the father you were before you split up, maybe they will come around in the end. You must feel very hurt as i do but remember they are mearly children easier to manipulate than you and i. Just keep loving them as you allways have and at least you will be able to keep your eyes open when you are having a shave. They diddnt ask for this either and are victims like you and me. Just keep loving them cos at the end of the day you cant kid your kids and neither can she.

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25 Oct 07 #5271 by gone1
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Thats imposible. I cannot begin to tell you the things that were done. If you get some time then read my blog. Its August 1st. And its called my story. Its all in there. I do hold them responsible. I know they are children and they were involved. They were old enough to know better. They betrayed me and for that I cant forgive. No I wont see them again. Sorry but thats the way I feel. Chris.

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25 Oct 07 #5272 by duncan McEnzie
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I will read your blog but before i read it im thinking maybe she put alot of pressure on them at a time when they were vunerable and frightened. They may regret what they have done and if you can find it in your heart to forgive maybe they will love you even more. I suppose i should read it before commenting.

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