- Posts: 3
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Useful to know... That would certainly make a very big hole. I'm not exactly rolling in it, but it would be enough to attract interest from her parents. She admitted recently that part of the reason her mother has been pressing us to buy a house (using money from my parents) is so that we have proper joint assets.
You don't mention how much savings? But bear in mind, if it went to a full hearing at court, it would not be worth fighting for, legal fees (to the bitter end) can run to £70k if both legally represented.
Not a massive difference in absolute terms now, she's had a few pay rises. But I've been working four more years than she has.
If their was a big descrepency in your incomes, she could be awarded spousal support, even if only short term.
Thanks. Yes, I know it will carry on, that's sort of why I'm accepting that it will end our marriage sooner or later. I've had it for years, and definitely coped better when I lived on my own. Amazingly, my wife doesn't seem to have realized that I'm ill, despite all the ups & downs. She probably does know deep down, but doesn't want to acknowledge it. Any time I've ever tried to talk to her about 'big stuff' like this (including why I don't want to have kids), she blanks me.
I hope you get help with your depression. Please be aware though, that since you had it before you met her, you may still suffer once 'rid' of this marriage. You may also take it into another relationship.
I did think about it, but I'm pretty sure it wouldn't work with her. She just doesn't do big conversations. (Not with me, at least. It seems to be a different matter with her family).
It's sad that you've come to this desicion. I hope she doesn't take it badly. Maybe also try some counseling together?
She's happy as long as everything is superficially OK, regardless of what might be going on underneath. I can't live like that. Yes, I'm sure the depression is a factor, but it's part of me. I hate taking drugs to be someone else, for someone else's convenience.
Divorce should be a last option! You say she's really happy. You project that you'll seperate anyway, if not now, then in say 10 yrs. Are you sure that's not just depressive (negative) thinking?
Glad you asked! Lots. I had loads of hobbies, through which I had regular contact with a circle of friends. That's all fallen by the wayside. My spare time during the week seems to get eaten up with chores around the house. We do go on outings at the weekends, but they mainly involve long walks together full of empty conversations about her family, or work. Never anything about us.
You say you need your life back. What were you doing before marriage that you can't do now?
Sometimes you see your own faults more clearly after you split. If you can ,try and see yours before you split.
shame you cant get your life ,your friends and your hobbies back and stay married. quote]
Viz magazine has a 'Vizism' to describe this particular choice of men to stay home and abandon their pre-marital mates:
Viz calls it 'SALMON HANDCUFFS' !!!!
Seriously though Alex, if you are preparing for divorce, (for sure) then do not enter into any further joint transactions, especially the part about buying a house. You'll have the expense of Surveyors fees, Stamp Duty, Legal fees, Mortgage registration fees, moving and usual decorating costs, transfer of services fees etc; etc.
And when you divorce a few years down the line, you can meet us lot back here who are mostly fighting over the matrimonial home!
What you spend your money on prior to divorce is up to you. If you lose your savings to an expensive car, a collection of Art work, Vintage Wine cellar (whatever) then you will still need to declare all items (and collections) over a certain limt (£500-£1000? I think).
Your question is really how well toprotect her claim against your savings.
Answer: How long is a piece of string!