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im baffled, what do i do

  • shar10
  • shar10's Avatar Posted by
  • Junior Member
  • Junior Member
04 Jun 07 #579 by shar10
Topic started by shar10
Please help, dunno what to do, heres the situation, sorry if its long.

Been married 9yrs, hubby left 2mth ago, hes at his mum. He wasnt thinking of divorce, just wanted space, but i couldnt stop cryin on fone beggin him to come home, then i started throwing my rights at him, what i was entitled to etc, i told him to look at what he was throwin away, we was about to buy new house. (bigger)Anyway, me banging on about my rights made him go seek advice, so i did, but i didnt take steps or do anythig. NoHe said whatever advice he is givrn he will act on. However, he was told the first time he went to take his name off joint acc, bills at home and stop payin me any money and i shoulg go on benefit.

I cant go on benefit, im at uni, can have child tax and child benefit and thats it, so he said he would just pay the joint mortgage payment of 283 pm. Hes still not taken the house off market, hes not taken name off acc n bills, has changed his address on some things, but others are still here. Anyway, his 2nd appointmen, he tells me hes applied for the petition and paid 300, i think he has as ive phoned the register office and they tell me hes been in to collect it last week, so i know im to expect them soon, his reasons arelack of trust under unreasonable behaviour and constant accusations.

My first question is, do i have to sign the ppers, i dont want a divorce, i think its too soon, i want to put them in bin and do nothing, can i do this, can i be forced to get a divorce, it takes time to plan a weddin, and time to end a marriage.

2nd question, hes give me no cash for 3wk, he has his own business, declared income 35-40k, hes now saying to me, he will put me on books of his business for 16hrs at min wage (85 pw) and i can claim taxcredit, he will pay half mortgage but no csa (1 child his) or spouse maintenance. Do i accept this to hel me out for now, as i wont do anything for money, saves me gettin job and i can still do fulltime degre

3rd question, i dunno how much is business is worth, but know he got 35k in bank, he has offered me 10k now and thats it from business, somehow i think this is poo and no way.

4th question. house is worth 135k, we owe 37k, he wants 50 50 in 8yrs when his son is 18, again i think poo, no way.

You see the thing that baffles me, is the rush, he said just agree and i get contract, i said no, im not rushin this i want to seewhere i stand and if u will regret this first. Turns out hes desparete cos his solictor charges 167 ph, so the more we agree the less he pays and he wants it all sorted now,his solictor advised him get flat, get rid of cash kittin it out. Does this mean if hes getting rid of cas i will lose out, cos if he aint got it he cant give it can he.

Now the biggy, i know that hes earning more than 35-40k cos i have his dodgy reciept book that he has 57k in dodgy rciepts, undeclared income since his business been runin 3yr, chargin vat when he didnt pay it, takin cash n writin lss etc, now ive threatned to disclose this to his accountat and inland revenue, he says if i do, im screwed to as they will take m car off me etc, plz tell me what i should do with all this, i dont want divorce, i want to drag it out cos i want the cost and what he will lose to scare him, but i also dont want to make things worse, atleast not now.

If i do drag this out as planned, what is the likely outcome for me and what will it cost him in solictor and cort fees, will it make me lose

Omg so sorry its long, im goin insane,its all too soon, not had petition and hes tryin to finalise it all right this min

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