she wants it all

Only been married 18months and now have one child aged 8 months. We cohabited for a few months prior to the marriage, which had to be top dollar. Our relationship had always been so wonderful, we couldnt leave each other alone, however since she gave birth to our son she has become obsessed with him to the exclusion of all else.

To make matters worse, her mother lives across the road and is having a great influence upon her for what I see as her own selfish reasons as her mother lives alone.

Since giving birth, my wife has become distant and in some respects hostile towards me, certianly there has been no sexual contact allowed. Her mannar and atitude has obviously placed a great strain upon the relationship, to the point where she has now petitioned for divorce.

I believe this to be Post Natal Depression, howver she has refused mediation of any kind stating that it would be pointless.

she owned the family home when we met although my name has since been added to the mortgage.
.
whailst I have a 8 month old son to this marriage, I also have a 8 year old daughter to a previous marriage to which I am also responsible.
.
I have now moved out of the family home and need to get suitable accomodation which I am pursuing, however she is now asking for £1100.00 per month as spouse maintainenec until she dies or until remarries, I only bring home £1500 per month.

HELP any advise appreciated.
*****************************************************<br /><br />Post edited by: scimitar, at: 2007/04/14 14:54

You do not mention whether she works. Whether she gave up work to have the baby. Whether she intends to return to work.

These are key in determining financial outcome.

Due to the short marriage, the assets will likely largely be allocated back to the original owner.

You may be able to argue for a small share of the property (based on its increase in value in the last 18 months). Perhaps you could start negotiations by asking for 20% of the house.

You don't say if she has a mortgage on the house - this is relevant.

If she doesnt then her housing needs are met. This would likely leave you free to negotiate to allow her to keep all the house (give up your 20% claim) in return for paying no spousal maintenance.

So end result - she keeps house - you pay child maintenance at 15% of your salary - so 225 per month.

The level of SM she is asking for given the shortness of the marriage is totally unrealistic.

Thank you for the above posted response. Yes she gave up work to have the child and intends to return to work on the 15th June (she took maternity leave from October 2006)She was working full time, however upon her return has negotiated part-time hours.Even working part-time she can expect an income circa £15k pa.

Further to the above the following is a quote of the current demands;
1, the home will be transferred to wifes name subject to the existing mortgage with me being released
2, to pay child support in accordance with CSA assessment

In addition her solicitors have advised that she is entitled to spouse maintenance from me. They propose that I pay spouse maintenance at the rate of £1,100 per month less the amount of CSA for the months April & May 2007 After this time, this amount will be recalculatedto take into account my wifes earnings (see above). Such payments should then continue until the first of the following events;

1, my wifes death
2, Her remarriage
3, Her cohabitation for a period in excess of six months
4, our son reaching the age of 21years or ceasing full time education whichever is sooner
5, A further court order

Regards
Scimitar

Post edited by: scimitar, at: 2007/04/14 14:52<br /><br />Post edited by: scimitar, at: 2007/04/14 14:55

Where are they getting the 1100 figure from?
Based on the facts you laid out it is a ridiculous figure.

Unless:
a) you deliberately quit a much higher paying job very recently.
b) the 1100 figure for 2 months is meant to make up for you paying no Child Maintenance for the last 6 months.

You might point out to her/her solicitor that:

- Your marriage was very short
- she owns her own house
- she has a job to return to
- you earn only a modest salary
- you need to house yourself
- you have a child from a prior relationship.

And that on this basis, a court is highly unlikely to make any award for any Spousal Maintenance at all. And if they did then any award would be in the range of a few hundred pounds - nowhere near 1100.


You will be liable for Child Maintenance as was stated earlier.<br /><br />Post edited by: wikivorce team, at: 2007/04/17 08:35

Thank you for the above.

In answer to where she gets the £1100.00 from.
As she has decided not to go back to work until three months after her maternity leave ends, she is asking for £1100.00 of my £1500.00 monthly salary for the months of April & May 2007 in order to pay houshold commitments. Then no doubt will come up with another figure for the following months.

It was verbally agreed before all this that I would subsidise her additional leave and my bank account replenished when she was back to work, as this has left me now almost £2000.00 in arrears.

Regards Scimitar