My partner spilt from his wife in march. She has recently made an offer of deffered charge on the FMH. My partner moved out in march but has still paid half the mortgage and a little extra towards utilities. He is also paying off debts and child maintenance. This is wiping out his whole income each month and leaves him with only £100 a month to live on. He x2b is a qualified teacher but went part time in march and is claiming legal aid something which my partner has to been told he is not entitled to. what can we do for him to avoid financial ruin and to come away from the divorce with enough mone for him to clear his debts.
You are amongst many of us new partners of divorcing men/women so welcome.
I think what his wife probably means by offering a deferred charge is that if they go to court the judge would probably order what is called a mesher order. This is where once everything is put in the pot and then divided say 60/40 in her favour then when the youngest child reaches the age of 18 and is no longer in education this particular order kicks in and at that point your partner will get his 40% be it that his ex could buy him out or has to sell the marital home to pay him.
I think you should maybe post some more information of you and your partners circumstances and that of his ex's as someone on here may be better qualified to give you advice, I am only going on my own experience and in that respect I must warn you that if you are living together your finances will be taken into consideration too and no matter where he is living, as long as he has a roof over his head, his needs will be deemed to be met and if there is not enough equity in the marital home for it to be sold and enable his ex to buy another house for her and the kids then she will be allowed to remain in the FMH until such time as the above order kicks in. If you have an income no matter how much this may be draining him, you will be seen to be helping to improve his life!! Sorry to tell you this but all us new partners have been down this path.
The only reason he is living with me is because after paying everything out he is left with £100 to live on!!! Not even enough to rent anywhere! There is nearly hundred K equity in the house and he is only asking for 30k and out of that he will be paying off a loan to his employer that they both took for a deposit on the FMH. She has kept everything in the house including the car which is fine but can she really get away with crippling him financialy? working full time as a teacher she would earn more than him
We all tend to feel that the man gets crushed financially in divorce and in many cases this can be true but providing he can show how this is reducing his liveable wage at the end of each month this will all get put into the dividing pot and be shared as equal as possible. Is he hoping that she will agree to sell the FMH or re-mortgage to give him his £30K? Also does he have a pension and is he hoping to keep that? If there is any mortgage outstanding on the FMH it may be that she could not afford to re-mortgage to pay him off? Equally, does she live in an area where she could afford to raise enough on mortgage along with the £70k that she would get from the 100k to buy a home large enough for her and the kids? It would have to be close by where they live now so as not to disrupt the kids schooling. If this is not possible for her to achieve then it may be they won't order her to sell the FMH which is where the Mesher Order may be granted instead and which is why she may have referred to the deferred charge. She has probably had this advice already.
I really think you need to get some legal advice but do please be careful that you don't get dragged into a long drawn out legal battle. Try to get your partner to remain calm and be as amicable as possible with his ex. I know easier said than done but there are so many people on here who are well into thousands of pounds in legal fees and no further forward. Maybe take several half hour sessions that are usually offered free by solicitors. This will help you to get several different views on what may or may not happen in his circumstances. Take plenty of advice from people on here then hopefully you may be able to picture a way forward without the need for legals.
What this means is that your ex is awarded a share of the property but doesn't get it until your youngest child is 18 or finishes full-time education or something similar set down by the judge (if you are expecting him or her to do A levels then try and make it later than 18 so as not to force them to move in the middle of their A levels). So you get to stay in the house until then but at that point you either have to sell up and give him his percentage of the equity or to buy him out.
There are advantages and disadvantages to this. Personally I am going to try to avoid it, but I can probably just about afford to my husband out now, and many people simply can't.