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Can it get any worse..........

  • Jane2002
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22 Nov 07 #7379 by Jane2002
Topic started by Jane2002
I am struggling at the moment. We were only married for 4 years with his alcohol intake getting worse and worse before his drinking just got too much. We just lurched from one drink related crisis to another and consequently he stopped working two years before we split. Only six weeks after we got married he was caught over the limit whilst on duty (I don't know if I can say the job on here) and then left the force......

I managed to buy him out of the MH and he left three months ago but after all my household ( my parents family home which we bought from them ) outgoings I am left with £30 per month for myself. Now i hear on the grapevine that he will try for either a property adjustment order or to claim maintenance from me so I may end up having to sell my former family / marital home.

Yes, I have a male friend who is trying to keep me mentally stable and nothing else ( I suffer with nerves, hardly suprising )but now I've also heard now that I've been sleeping with him as well! If he thought I was playing away, why didn't he petition instead of me?

I feel I can't win whichever way I turn.

  • Specialdad
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22 Nov 07 #7392 by Specialdad
Reply from Specialdad
I think you will find he is bluffing. He probably will want blow any spare money on drink rather than a sol.

Best of luck and keep us posted B)

  • Camberwick green
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22 Nov 07 #7396 by Camberwick green
Reply from Camberwick green
Its pretty awful at first but you will eventually get a handle on things, people on here will keep you sane, just keep posting.

You are in the same situation as a lot of people on here being frightened with words but actions speak louder than words, I doubt he will do everything he says.

stay strong x

  • Shelia
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22 Nov 07 #7411 by Shelia
Reply from Shelia
He can try, but will he suceeed? I doubt it.

You are better off without him, he sounds like a nightmare.

He has not done anything yet, sounds like the ramblings of a drunk to me.

Maybe you should seek some legal advice to clarify your situation and put your mind at ease.

You do not say where you are in the divorce proceedings?

Best wishes


  • LittleMrMike
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22 Nov 07 #7420 by LittleMrMike
Reply from LittleMrMike
From what you say, I think it would be very harsh if a property adjustment order or a maintenance order were made.

In effect, he's already had a property adjustment order because he has had a lump sum to compensate him for his interest in the house. So unless the deal had been induced by misrepresentation or concealement I think it would be difficult for him to go back on it.

As regards maintenance, the case of K v K 1990 2 FLR 225 might be helpful, the facts there were not dissimilar to your and the application for maintenance failed.

I agree that claiming it is one thing ; succeeding is another.

Mike 100468

  • loobyloo
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23 Nov 07 #7442 by loobyloo
Reply from loobyloo
Firstly not surprised your nerves bad having been married to an alcoholic control freak
I , and im no expert, would get legal advice and take no notice of hearsay.... he prob getting wasted down the local and mouthing off,. If his past career is what im thinking.... well..... say no more hell have lots of dodgy contacts no doubt and be getting ill advice fro no it alls
And so what if you are in a relationship,,, nothing to do with him
you take care
dont let the b.....ds grind you down
looby x

  • Jane2002
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23 Nov 07 #7450 by Jane2002
Reply from Jane2002
Thanks all for your support. I feel a lot more positive today, it's the idea of not knowing what is around the corner that worries me. I'll just have to wait and see!

Once again, thanks all and I'll keep you posted :cheer:

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