Can it get any worse..........

God I realy feel 4 u a marriage from hell. When u say in the force do u mean police? ( don't worry I don't want your details) only being nosey as am criminal solicitor East London area!! But back to the topic yeah I'm afraid divorce is shit for all parties!!

Hi Carys

You are correct in which force, not in your area though, it was the south coast.

bloody hell u r amazing to have been able to keep a samnity with a marriage like that I would have had men in white coats coming after me after a couple of days lol!! No on a serious note if u have given him chance after chance to sort himself and he has not bothered then get rid asap. To estimate what he could claim u need to specify figureson his contributions , whether u have kids etc as he could possibly claim spousal maintenence for a while but if u were the person with all the assets and no kids then hopefully u should retain most of equity in home although he may well get something ( he will just piss it up the wall!!) Good luck x Oh yeah most importantly when he left and u agreed the finances did u sign a contract or anything??

better class of police outside Met lol!!

He signed the transfer of title deeds and had it witnessed by a mutual friend. The transfer document listed that he accepted the sum offered to remove his name.

Every time we moved house, four times in four years, the equity went into his account and when we bought my former parents house, where I am now, the £15k left over went into his account and I never saw any of it!

Hi Jane

I hate to put a dampner on things for you but you really havent put enough information on your post for anybody to give you a great deal of advice.

Two things here, number one, have you still got all the documentary evidence that shows you bought him out of the property and gave him a lump sum?

Number two, did he get the sack from his job or did he voluntary leave? I say this because you are entitled to at least 4 years of his pension, which might be worth looking at, as a bargaining tool.

As he does not work, he may be entitled to maintenance from you, (women wanted equality and thats what we've got!) Also he could put his drinking down as an illness, which of course it is. I know you have only £30 per month left over, but if he does take you to court then you have to prove where every penny goes in order to show you have nothing left to give him.

If he files Form A at court seeking any of the orders then you need to get all your information to show hes already been paid off.

As for you seeing someone else or not seeing someone else, makes no difference to the courts, you could of been having an affair throughout you marriage, CONDUCT is not an issue and neither will his drinking be seen as conduct either.

Its all about the finances. You can divorce him and say the issues are his drinking, but when it comes to the finances he could drink 20 bottles of Vodka a day and it wouldnt make a jot of difference.

I would wait and see what happens but one thing, you will have to learn to chill out, all this takes time and if you let it get to you, it will send you crazy!

So chill and chat to others on here, we will all help you through it!

Kind ones
Louise

Lol

We posted together, you need a paper trail of what you say. I.E the equity always went into his bank! Find what you can to show where the money went, it has to have a trail somewhere, starting at solicitors who did the house sales maybe?

Kind ones
louise