Sorting out finances after Decree Absolute

I have just been granted Decree Nisi and both my ex and I would like to go ahead and apply for Decree Absolute after six weeks. My ex seems to think that we should leave sorting out the finances after Decree Absolute and he doesn't want to use a solicitor. I have got some initial advice from a solicitor who said we should both fill in form E. Can I leave filling in Form E until after decree absolute? As I have dealt with all the finances throughout our mariage I would probably fill in his as well as mine although obviously he would have to find out about his pension value. My ex seems to have accepted that he will need to pay me maintenance due to the fact my earning power is much less than his and my youngest (now 16) will still need a home base until she finishes full-time education which could be (allowing for a gap year) five years away. He would like to split everything else (debts, equity on the house, investments) 50/50. I would like to have all the equity (which after paying off debts will be about £50,000) as I think I would need this for a deposit on a property and would like him to carry some of the debts. We have agreed not to sell the house before my daughter leaves school in two years time. By then our financial situation may be very different.

Sorry for the lengthy post (my first). I'd be grateful for any thoughts/advice.

Tactically it would be unwise to delay settlement -you are likely to get a better settlement if you proceed now.

Don't apply for D/A till after finances settled as there are serious implications if H dies > D/A and £ are not settled.

Remember a spouse has valuable Pension benefits as a spouse rather than an ex spouse.

If assets increase and the equity in FMH it can be more expensive to broker asettlement years later.

Also by then you may have made a new Ptnr and you may get less!!

If Dtr goes to Uni the Crt prob would not sell till she finishes.

Sol is right both should complete Form E's to voluntarily disclose finances

Consider mediation to sort finances

Thanks for that - most people seem to be saying the same thing ie get finances agreed before Decree Absolute. As I believe my ex's new partner is anxious for the divorce to go through as soon as possible delaying applying for decree absolute should put pressure on my ex to get the finances agreed sooner rather than later which will make me happier. He may even agree to go to mediation - something he has refused to do so far.

Mediation is hard but very worthwhile. You have a one to one discussion with mediator in attendance.

You can have as many sessions as you require to sort matters out. You receive a Memorandum of Understanding and a Statement of Assets and Liabilities at the end which you take to your sol to turn into a Consent Order for say £200. This then is given to you with DA and matters are settled.

Mediation will save money and be quicker.

If however both parties feel like they are characters in the film The Empire Strikes Back then its time to put your Darth Vader suit on and attend court time and spend loads of money!!!!

mediation might be worthwhile, but what do you do if if your stbx wont go. she knows i have no money and she will have to give me SM so she is prolonging it until the house gets repossessed and me and the kids are homeless. the only way is to take her to court but i have not got the finances to do it. her and her new partner have the money to sort it out but point blank refuses to do anything. my sol wont do anything until i pay some money upfront (which i dont have)