A well respected, award winning social enterprise
Volunteer run - Government and charity funded
We help 50,000 people a year through divorce

01202 805020

Lines open: Monday to Friday 9am-5pm
Call for FREE expert advice & service info


What are we each entitled to in our divorce settlement?

What does the law say about how to split the house, how to share pensions and other assets, and how much maintenance is payable.

What steps can we take to reach a fair agreement?

The four basic steps to reaching an agreement on divorce finances are: disclosure, getting advice, negotiating and implementing a Consent Order.

What is a Consent Order and why do we need one?

A Consent Order is a legally binding document that finalises a divorcing couple's agreement on property, pensions and other assets.


Do you need help sorting out a fair financial settlement?

Our consultant service offers expert advice and support to help you reach agreement on a fair financial settlement quickly, and for less than a quarter of the cost of using a traditional high street solicitor.


My ex is making me feel guilty!!

  • RLawson
  • RLawson's Avatar Posted by
  • Junior Member
  • Junior Member
More
04 Dec 07 #8392 by RLawson
Topic started by RLawson
My ex has filed for divorce on grounds of unreasonable behaviour and we are currently discussing the financial settlement side of things, we have both exchanged our form E's and now at the negoiation stage. My ex has made an offer but my solicitor says it is too low.

The problem I have at the moment, is that my ex keeps sending me emails, asking me to stop the finanical settlement and for me to walk away with nothing. He keeps reminding me why our marriage broke down and that alot of it was my fault, I do feel really guilty, and not sure what to do, is he just using tactics to make me stop? He has even offered that we can be friends again if I stop everything, I just don't know what to do?

Has anyone else been down this road? I would be really grateful of any advice.

Kind Regards

  • BlueGangster
  • BlueGangster's Avatar
  • Junior Member
  • Junior Member
More
04 Dec 07 #8395 by BlueGangster
Reply from BlueGangster
Don’t be bullied by this tactic. If you have exchanged form E’s then you will be able to see exactly what you are entitled to. (I assume you have your NISI at this point)You will also have a gut feel if your partner has withheld anything on the form. Challenge everything!!!
Trust your solicitor here and get your solicitor to reply to him about his emails to you. Make sure that you remind your partner that a Judge will take a dim view of his threatening behaviour by trying to force a settlement with you. You must stand your ground here. This will not only get him to back off, but it will let him know that you are prepared to go in front of a judge for an FDA if no settlement is forthcoming. A court will no longer care about the reason for the break up or blame as this will no longer be a factor in reflecting the financial settlement.

The law is quite rigid on finance so don’t sell yourself short

  • RLawson
  • RLawson's Avatar Posted by
  • Junior Member
  • Junior Member
More
04 Dec 07 #8399 by RLawson
Reply from RLawson
thanks so much for your reply :-)

Well he has been using the "if you have any good in your soul then you would do the right thing?" He did send threatening emails before but he has now changed to this approach, trying to make me feel remorseful :-(

I have not received the nisi yet, it has not got that far. I have seen his form E and he is not declaring everyting, I have challenged this and he doesn't like it, asking me to stop everything if I was a decent enough person :S

Would they still count this a bullying tactics?

Many thanks

  • sexysadie
  • sexysadie's Avatar
  • Platinum Member
  • Platinum Member
More
04 Dec 07 #8411 by sexysadie
Reply from sexysadie
It is a form of emotional blackmail and clearly intended to control your behaviour. I bet he did it when you were living with him, too. As BlueGangster says, stand your ground and try to ignore this as much as possible. We beat ourselves up enough as it is without that being induced by our former partners.

Sadie

Moderators: wikivorce teamrubytuesdaydukeyhadenoughnowTetsSheziLinda SheridanForsetiMitchumWhiteRoseLostboy67WYSPECIALBubblegum11