The house

She makes 600 per month, I make 2000 per month. No equity in house. 15k joint loan. 0 savings. 5k credit card debt mine, used to buy all furnishings in home. One son age 3. She says she wants to keep the house (she cant afford it by herself as mort. payment is £1100 per month) is this an option? and what are options? what can the courts do? If i get custody/if she gets custody??

You dont say how long married?

Let me assume 5 years (with 3 yr old kid)

Courts main concern is the kid.

The 1100 per mth sounds unviable.

A single mum & kid can get accomodation for less than that - so no - she wont get to stay in the house.

You will at a minimum have to pay child support at 15% of your net til kid is 19.

At worst she may get awarded spousal maintenance for a few years (maybe another 10% of your income).

thanks for the info. any Ideas on how to go about trying to get custody??

Who has mainly been responsible for the care of your child? It is usual to try and maintain stability for children by retaining that situation as far as possible. So if your wife has been working part-time in order to look after your child (as is suggested by the discrepancy in your incomes)then a court would be unlikely to force any change. In any case, courts don't make an order for residence unless it is unavoidable and like you to come to an agreement about this and will send you to mediation before they make a ruling.

If it looks as though you are trying to get a residence order (it's not called 'custody' any more) to avoid paying child maintenance then I would expect a judge to take a dim view of this. In any case in my experience it is generally cheaper to be the non-resident parent as children are extraordinarily and increasingly expensive.

Sadie

My wife has been in charge of taking care of the boy. I am not looking to avoid any child care cost, I think the boy would not be in a stable enough enviorment to be in his best intrest, especially when I get txt messages (that I saved in case)from my wife like "I am depressed and regret having children" and "things will be better when I top myself". She may say these things in moments of frustration but they scare the life out of me. What happens if she means it one day. That is the reason it is so important for me to take care of my boy. your thoughts???

Skippy, if your wife is depressed then she needs help and support, not further undermining by you taking your child away and as a result also making her homeless. If your wife has mainly cared for your son then staying with her still represents stability for him even if she is depressed. The local health visitors can give her support in looking after him and she should be able to get counselling for her depression through her gp. If all of us who had ever had postnatal depression (and, as I have said before, I think it is likely that this is what your wife has) lost our children as a result, then many children would be without good mothers.

Sadie

skippy,
As has been said already - it sounds like your wife needs support and medical help not papers serving for an upcoming divorce. I seem to remember a line "..in sickness and in health.." - you make no mention of the previous advice you have been given and whether this has been acted upon or not...?