Just been talking to my solicitor who reckons I'll be looking at a 60:40 assets split. Just wanted some advice on whether this is fair - and is the sort of thing the judge wd be looking for.
Marriage lasted 18 yrs, 3 kids 11,15,17 with me - no financial contribution since separation 3 yrs ago and not much for 7 yrs before then. Not likely to be any financial support. My pension small - worth about 50k - his bigger - abt 220k or more. Joint endowmentworth circa 45k. My endowment (was for kids uni fees) worth circa 30k.
Him in rented accomm not working (disability benefits etc). Me and kids in FMH.
It is going to cost another 10-15k each from now to take through the courts so I'd like to have a sensible offer for the FDR - any thoughts??
Hmmm, I think I'd like to know a wee bit more here !
My first thought is that, if you have the children, it is a possibility that you could be allowed to live in the FMH at least until your youngest is 18. But do you have the means to afford to live there, because it doesn't look as if you can expect anything from your x2b? If you don't have enough income to live there, perhaps you might look at the possibility of renting accommodation.
A Court would also need to enquire about your husband's needs too, especially if he is disabled and unable to work.
One of the things that needs to be borne in mind is that if, for argument's sake, you sold the house and split the proceeds, any capital he might get is likely to disqualify him from means tested benefits such as income support. But you say he has a pension, so when does that become payable ? Have you investigated the possibility of Disability Living Allowance for your husband if he isn't getting it already ? I would certainly advise that you investigate it - talk to a CAB, the advice is free.
You don't say what your income is, and it seems to me that the situation calls for some creative thinking but without knowing more that is not possible at the moment.
I know this isn't an answer but have you considered mediation as an alternative to Court proceedings ? Seems to me neither of you can really afford the luxury of a fight in Court , if you can avoid it.
Thanks for the reply. For the moment I can afford to maintain the kids and FMH - have been sole earner for last 10 years and now have own business run from home plus second part time job which could be the basis of full time work if the business goes belly up.Don't want to move them as they are very traumatised by everything that has happened. I really do not want him to have any further involvement in my life and am not keen on having the sword of damocles hanging over me and forcing us out when my youngest finishes her education. I would like that to be my decision. I can get a mortgage in my own right that would pay off the existing joint loan (which I pay anyway) but have been advised that a bigger loan would be a very bad idea as it may put the house at risk.
He has full range of benefits - circa 20k a year worth. His pension could be paid now as he is 59 but it looks like he will defer taking it until next year when he is 60.
mediation has been suggested to him (by me)but it doesn't look like an option sadly - his solicitor and barrister appear to be running his case and insisting he needs 250k for a house and contents plus to keep all his pension for his needs - although medical reports we have received suggest his level of ill health and needs are being overstated.
Having endured years of his self obsession and alcohol abuse I really want an end to all this so the children and I can get on with our lives. I would like to be able to make an offer the judge will think is fair at the FDR even if his lawyers don't.