scope of settlement

Hi there.

My wife left me a couple of months ago for someone else, and we're trying to resolve things amicably without running up huge bills (there's no children involved). However, she is only considering the value of the house (excluding any costs associated with selling it, if it comes to it), and items in the house (at full value, and more than double my estimate). I've told her it includes more things such as pensions (I'm pretty certain hers is a few thousand more than mine), but she seems to ignore these points.

My gut feel is that if this is the start of an 'amicable' process, it's started badly! So, i have some questions:

- i'm assuming the value of items in the house are based on resale cost - is this correct, how is it calculated, and by who? Is there a good reference site?
- she has had a company car for the past 5 yrs, and her current company car would be worth around £10k on the open market. Is this included? I also have a company car option, but chose to take a cash payment (which she could also have chosen)
- I'm not planning on selling the house, but if it comes to it, i might have to. Should selling fees (which i'm estimating at £2k) be included in the overall house figure as a theorectical cost?
- what's the typical situation with regards to who picks up the divorce costs? Whilst she's the reason this is all happening, i'm in no real rush to get divorced, so don't see why i should be picking up much/any of the bill
- finally (and it's probably somewhere else, but)... what's the average divorce cost (solicitors etc...), assuming it's reasonably straight forward. I'm guessing the answer is "how long's a piece of string", but i'm just looking for a gut feel at the moment.

Thanks for listening, hope you can help out.

ok near enough housing costs in your area can be done here www.mypropertyspy.co.uk/search.aspx you are correct ALL ASSETS are in the boiling pot then all deabts out what left is where the share begins 50/50 then the arguements begin fo whose done what to whom. going from my costs mine costs£175ph for the sol £125ph assisitant £75ph for Sec £25 for postage and PH calls hope it helps a little.

Try mediation from Relate. much cheaper at £45 each approx. She will be told what needs to be considered so you can both get a Consent Order and divorce amicably.

I would like to give you a few thoughts that I hope might be helpful.

The first is, try and avoid getting into arguments about value of possessions if you can. Some American states operate a system known as equitable distribution where every single item , more or less , has to have a value put on it, and, believe me, it's a goldmine for appraisers attorneys and valuers. It might be just as easy to use the back of an envelope. Sometimes it does come down to a few cherished possessions, but it's far better to agree if you can.

The company car must, I assume, belong to your wife's employer, therefore it is not available for redistribution.

If the house is sold, you must take into account necessary costs of sale.

Your query about divorce costs - depends on whether you are talking about the costs of the divorce itself, which are normally manageable. The real problem is the potential costs of ancillary relief proceedings.

There is no fixed rule on who picks up the divorce costs, but if you're relying on consent as a ground it's probably better to stand them yourself as it makes makes it easier for the other party to let it go through.

In ancillary relief proceedings the normal rule is that each party pays each other's costs, but do be aware that, even if you each pay your own, the total costs can be considerable. If you say you are reasonably amicable I would consider mediation as an option ; it normally works out quite a bit cheaper than going down the traditional route.

Mike 100468

My partner went down this route with his ex. They agreed a consent order but the court made her get a CETV for her pension before they would approve it.

thanks to all for the advice, it re-affirms my understanding of what happens next.

The only outstanding query relates to the company car. I can see why it wouldn't be included, but the reality is that part of her income could have gone into a bank account has instead been spent on a car... Anyone else had other experiences?

You are spot on. The company car does have a financial influence however it is not based on the value of the car. A car is a taxable asset that is given to an employee in lieu of salary. Therefore it has a monthly increment to the net pay. This must be included as taxable income.