What to pay until proceedings start?

I left my partner 7 months ago.

We have two children in full time education, she lives in the matrimonial home.

I'm taking home between £1800 and £2400 pcm (although it's been at the lower end the last few months). I've been giving her £1k each month, and I'm ending up with next to nothing in my pocket each month, living just a basic existence.

The CSA calcultator says I should give her £512 a month for the children. The rest is what I can afford to give her towards the mortgage and a joint loan (50% of the payments). I also pay some matrimonial debts.

She isn't working and claims she can't afford to pay the bills (including the loan) and can't claim IS because I give her that money.

I can't afford to continue in this way without the likelihood of getting into more debt, but I don't want the children to suffer at all.

Has anybody got any opinions on what I should do in the short term? I really can't afford to pay any more money to her. And in this situation I can't afford the solicitors fees either.

NotPaul,

I doubt that any decent father wants his children to suffer, but pause to consider that a lessening of living standard is not suffering.

Your two children are in full-time education but are they in primary school? Even in if they are in primary school your partner has the opportunity to look for a part-time job- because of your joint financial circumstamces she has to.

You aren't going to do your children any favours by beggaring yourself financial because that leads to emotional and then physical decline followed by mental breakdown.... unless you are extremely tough, lucky or preferably both.

If you can't afford a solicitor then don't use one. The CSA monthly payment you mention comes to £59/wk/child. That I think is more than sufficient. You may see that as being exclusively for the children, but frankly £40/wk each will be OK. So in effect your partner has about £165/month to spend on other things including herself.

I may sound harsh but I believe I am just being practical. Your partner will have to use some o fthat £165/month to pay off the mortgage. If her income (credits, benefit etc) doesn't allow for it then the house will have to be sold.

I have learned that a wish list is worth nothing in the divorce process. Either we can afford to help our children or we can't and hoping to make ends meet when there is reduced income and increased expenditure leads to misery. In addition to that, solicitors are expensive and a luxury.

Well, that's my opinion. In your shoes I'd do the same as you (and am doing it), trying to juggle money so that the FMH isn't lost but half the time I wonder if I'm not in some sort of fantasy world of my own making. I miss the money I have spent on solicitors and overall view it as money spent while my mind was unbalanced.

Maudlin Vail

Give her 1 months notice that unless she gets a job which is a minimum 16 hrs so she can claim valuable tax credits you will have to reduce the money payable to her so you can service the existing debts. Explain that if she does so so she can claim tax credits you will do your best to ensure that with the money you give her for child support she will be "better off" than she is by getting £1000 from you as now.

She is obliged by s 25 MCA 1973 to maximise her "earning capacity"

When someone has 2 children works say 16 hrs and gets tax credits and CSA & Child benefit she probably would get c £1200 is per month!!! I suspect she can manage on that.....you then will be so much better off and can then start to live again including start paying off more of the debts.

Now she could apply for interim periodical payments if divorce has started and often for a short time she may get about 40-45% of your net

Obviously one cannot be sure without seeing the list of claimed o/goings etc

It certainly sees too high a % at present

Why not work out what she could get for tax credits
Assume she works 16 hours at minimum wage

Calculator is here

www.entitledto.co.uk/taxcreditaward.aspx...f2-a196-22bfd460a550

Give her 1 months notice that unless she gets a job which is a minimum 16 hrs so she can claim valuable tax credits you will have to reduce the money payable to her so you can service the existing debts. Explain that if she does so so she can claim tax credits you will do your best to ensure that with the money you give her for child support she will be "better off" than she is by getting £1000 from you as now.

She is obliged by s 25 MCA 1973 to maximise her "earning capacity"

When someone has 2 children works say 16 hrs and gets tax credits and CSA & Child benefit she probably would get c £1200 is per month!!! I suspect she can manage on that.....you then will be so much better off and can then start to live again including start paying off more of the debts.

Now she could apply for interim periodical payments if divorce has started and often for a short time she may get about 40-45% of your net

Obviously one cannot be sure without seeing the list of claimed o/goings etc

It certainly sees too high a % at present

Why not work out what she could get for tax credits
Assume she works 16 hours at minimum wage

Calculator is here

www.entitledto.co.uk/taxcreditaward.aspx...f2-a196-22bfd460a550